1. Other Spanish speakers assume you speak Español because of your appearance, and are surprised when you don’t.
That’s like assuming a tall person plays basketball or a that a skinny person hates cake.
2. Or, they assume you don’t speak Spanish and talk as if you don’t understand.
Because having blonde hair or blue eyes doesn’t mean you are any less Latino or Spanish.
3. If you take a Spanish language class, other students will look at you dumbfoundedly and ask, “Why?”
Because I want to learn/improve my Spanish. Is that so hard to understand? Also, don’t give me grief about getting a B-, either.
4. Someone will ask you to translate something because, again, they assume you can.
Maybe I can, maybe I can’t. Just don’t be surprised either way.
5. Having to explain that not every Latino watches soccer, er, fùtbol.
I mean, I do. Well, I watch the World Cup. OK, I watched The Big Green once.
6. Getting weird looks when you announce that you don’t like spicy food.
Contrary to popular belief, not every Latino grew up eating spicy food. And even if they grew up in a household that served a lot of spicy meals, that doesn’t mean they enjoy that kind of food now.
7. Or, you get annoyed when people assume you don’t do spicy at all.
Don’t hate the player, hate the flame.
8. You’re sometimes/often embarrassed because it took you so long to try foods other Latinos grew up with.
Why was the world of pupusas and cemitas kept from me for so long? WHYYYYYYYY?
9. The awkward moment when someone tries to relate to you about Spanish television when you’ve never watched it in your life.
If I saw it on The Soup does that count?
10. Same with Spanish music.
I sort of remember Menudo. Are they still a thing?
11. Or Spanish movies.
The only reason I know that this is Cantinflas is because I Googled it.
12. When you have to convince people that being Latino does not mean you automatically want a million babies.
Uh, that’s a big Lati-NO! ::adjusts tie:: I’ll see myself out.
13. Dealing with people who don’t believe you are, in fact, Latino.
“Nah, you’re pulling my chain? You’re Guatamalan? Really?” – Your new coworker whom you already despise.
14. That horrible moment when someone says something anti-Latino, not realizing that they are speaking to a Latino.
15. Or worse, when they say racist things to you because, “…y’know, you’re not that kind of Latino.”
And what kind exactly is “that kind”? You know what, don’t answer that.