1.
Any plans must be cross-checked with your spouse.
2.
Your closet is more or less a cupboard.
3.
No one knows how to push your buttons better than your spouse.
4.
On the other hand, nobody can make you feel better faster.
5.
Being open and honest about money will save you a lot of grief.
6.
You will have to investigate every creak in the night and deal with every insect, even though you might be just as scared.
7.
Separate sinks are a godsend.
8.
Surprise gifts go a long way.
9.
"Wearing the pants in the family" means that one of you must put pants on in order to throw the trash out.
10.
All those fancy creams and lotions that take up all the bathroom counter space? You've tried them all.
12.
If you have kids, sexy time is like planning a bank heist.
13.
Also, deciding who is good cop/bad cop when disciplining is a thing.
14.
The small quibbles will pile up and explode if not dealt with A.S.A.P.
15.
A husband who dances is the envy of those with husbands that don't.
16.
Waiting outside changing rooms will test your every nerve.
17.
Sunglasses in public become a must-have item.
18.
You are never right, even when you are.
19.
Negotiating holiday plans is like brokering an international trade pact.
20.
There is nothing better than watching TV while cuddling.
21.
Your spouse can complain about your in-laws, but not you.
22.
When someone flirts with you, your mind can't process it.
23.
You thought you had style, but apparently you were wrong.
24.
Making your spouse laugh is the greatest feeling (and vice-versa).
Finally, the thing every married man knows to be true and the secret to a lasting marriage...
25.
Knowing that as you sleep you will fart on each other.
