1. The dreaded leaky faucet.
Every drip is another minute of not sleeping since that is all your mind becomes fixated on.
2. The pestilence that is someone else snoring.
Not only is it annoying, but it’s just another reminder that you are not sleeping anytime soon.
3. Hearing a car alarm in the middle of the night.
Now you’re not only awake but worried that your car is broken into.
4. Being woken up righhhht when you were finally falling asleep.
Kids, pets, your S.O., all should know better but seem to just not care.
5. Having to invest in sleep masks and blackout curtains.
Because light is the enemy, and you will do anything you can to block it out.
6. Hearing the sound of lawnmowers on weekend mornings.
Chances are you have been sleeping solid for like two hours and then – MMMMMMRRRRROOOOOWWWWW. Ugh.
7. Hearing strange noises and worrying what they could be.
FYI, it’s always the fridge.
8. The temptation that is starting a movie late at night.
Because if you start it you will finish it. And if you don’t you will lay there thinking about what happened, then eventually get up and finish it.
9. Going on a trip and forgetting your ear plugs.
10. Stupid birds and their stupid chirping.
The early bird gets the worm and gets you pissed off.
11. Falling asleep in random places during the day.
Oh, now I can fall asleep no problem? Good joke, Mr. Sandman!
12. Fighting the urge to pee because you are so close to falling asleep.
But then giving in and getting up, only to start the process all over again.
13. Needing more than one alarm clock because you are constantly sleeping through them.
It’s not your fault you didn’t actually fall asleep until 4 a.m. Well, maybe it is, but still.
14. When someone gives unsolicited advice about how you can sleep better.
If it worked you would’ve heard about it by now, dontchathink?
15. Not sleeping with the A/C on because you know the hum will keep you up.
Basically, summer sucks.
16. Trash day, in general.
WHY YOU GOTTA DO ME LIKE THAT, DEPARTMENT OF SANITATION?
17. Trying every position possible to get comfortable.
Inevitably waking up with a sore neck.
18. Trying different noise cancelling machines to no avail.
White noise, whale calls, rainforest. None work and mostly end up just making you want to pee.
19. Knowing that the best sleep is had when it’s raining outside, but then being kept up by it hitting against the window.
20. Suddenly remembering you forgot to do something, like plug in your phone or lock the front door.
Then getting up and realizing you already did it.
21. Searching for that weird beep in the middle of the night.
Is it the smoke detector? Your watch? Your phone? ALIENS? I CAN’T SLEEP UNTIL I FIND YOU!
23. Knowing you have to get up early but your brain just won’t shut off.
Because bedtime – according to your brain – is the perfect time to think about your own mortality.