Life Before Marriage Vs. Life After

Things don’t change that much… right? posted on

1. Partying before marriage:

It was all late nights and fast times, with 6 a.m. Denny’s breakfasts ending the night frequently.

2. After marriage:

NFL / Via deadspin.com

Game nights and Netflix make up most of your “party” time now. Plus, if someone invites you to a party that starts anytime after 8 p.m., you’re like, “Really? Do we have to?”

3. Spending money before marriage:

The question wasn’t “Should we buy this?” but “Why wouldn’t we buy this Groupon for half-off Deep Sea Pottery lessons?”

4. After marriage:

Paramount Pictures / Via celebquote.com

“You want to buy what for how much? Oh, I suppose you would rather have that than electricity?!”

5. Furnishing your place before marriage:

Some things you bought full price from Ikea, most were on sale, and a few you found in an alley with a “Free” sign attached to them.

6. After marriage:

You try and buy nice things since you are now “grown up,” until you end up back at Ikea thanking the lord for frustrating yet affordably priced Swedish furnishings.

7. Vacations before marriage:

A24 / Via nextmovie.com

12 to a room and a never ending flow of Natty Ice? What could be better?

8. After marriage:

A sensibly priced B&B in wine country. That is what’s better.

9. Staying in shape before marriage:

ABC / Via uproxx.com

Carbs were of no concern because you both had time to workout and eat what you like.

10. After marriage:

Because what “I do” really means is, “I do want another slice of cake, babe.”

11. Dressing sexy for each other before marriage:

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Your game was always on point when trying to impress one another. Putting in effort was, well, effortless.

12. After marriage:

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You are effortless.

13. Your bank account before marriage:

14. After marriage:

15. The holidays before marriage:

You spend them with your family because duh.

16. After marriage:

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I guess all the frequent flier miles are an upside, right?

17. Kids before marriage:

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Hypothetically discussing having kids is awesome, because you can hypothetically afford to have them, and hypothetically know how to raise them, like the hypothetical perfect parent you are.

18. After marriage:

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You forget ever being scared of having them and are now only scared of losing them.

19. Pets before marriage:

Having this responsibility on your own.

20. After marriage:

Just watched my wife pull a 5″ fully-intact blade of grass out of our dog’s butthole. #marriedlife #blessed

21. Your married friends before marriage:

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They’re just looking out for you, is all.

22. After marriage:

Yes, they are the reason you two finally tied the knot. :: rolls eyes ::

23. Selfies before marriage:

24. After marriage:

Something about #marriedselfie warms the cockles of my heart. THE COCKLES!

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