23 Things Husbands Say Vs. What They Really Mean

Sorry, wives of the world.

1. “Of course I was listening.”

I was not listening and you totally caught me.

ABC / Via reddit.com
ID: 3333883

2. “That wasn’t me.”

I totally just farted. Sorry.

First Look Home Ent. / Via billcosbysfacialexpressions.tumblr.com
ID: 3333946

3. “What do you want to do now?”

Please say sex, please say sex, please say sex…

ID: 3333962

4. “Yes, I’m fine.”

I’m not in a bad mood, but if you keep asking if I am I will be soon.

Warner Bros. / Via reactiongifs.com
ID: 3333988

5. “Sure, I’d love to join you on a diet.”

I will be secretly eating junk food on my way home from work.

USA Films / Via neilmobile.tumblr.com
ID: 3334021

6. “I’d love to have (random cousin I’ve never met) stay with us for a weekend.”

You owe me one.

ID: 3334036

7. “Are you tired?”

I want to have sex.

ID: 3334112

8. “Can you believe what that woman is wearing?”

Please forgive me for totally checking out that woman right now.

20th Century Fox / Via tomcruising.tumblr.com
ID: 3334141

9. “Don’t worry, I’ll deal with the spider.”

Spiders terrify me, but it is my husbandly duty to take care of things like this so here goes nothing.

ID: 3334178

10. “Yes, that looks great on you.”

You looked great a half an hour ago. Can we please go to dinner now?

United Artists / Via reactiongifs.com
ID: 3334218

11. “Do I find her attractive? Eh, not really my type.”

I’m not stupid enough to fall for this trick.

ID: 3334230

12. “I actually don’t like strip clubs.”

Really, I don’t. But you know… boobs.

Paramount Pictures / Via gifsofnicolascage.tumblr.com
ID: 3334248

13. “Here, let me Google that for you.”

I forgot to clear my browser history.

Paramount Pictures / Via gifbay.com
ID: 3334256

14. “Those towels will look perfect in the bathroom.”

I couldn’t care less what the bathroom towels look like.

ID: 3334268

15. “If that’s what you wanna do.”

You’re going to get your way anyway so why bother?

BBC / Via reddit.com
ID: 3334298

16. “What do you want to do for our anniversary?”

Please answer by saying the date because I can’t remember it right now.

Universal Pictures / Via fyeah80s-90s.tumblr.com
ID: 3334320

17. “Do we have to go to that wedding?”

I would rather cut off my right pinky than go to another wedding this summer.

Warner Bros. / Via reddit.com
ID: 3334384

18. Real Housewives again?

I love this show.

ID: 3334398

19. “I don’t care where we eat.”

I do care but want you to decide because I am an indecisive man-child.

NBC / Via reddit.com
ID: 3334413

20. “I’ll take out the trash in a minute.”

That will be more like an hour, TBH. And only because you will remind me again.

Colombia Pictures / Via mattybing1025.tumblr.com
ID: 3334422

21. “Am I getting fat?”

I am being vulnerable right now and can use some honest criticism.

NBC / Via burgerlords.com
ID: 3334433

22. “Wow, you look really stunning right now.”

So… sex?

ID: 3334447

23. “I love you.”

You are my everything, and bring me more joy than I ever thought I could experience.

ID: 3334530

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