1. Another lovely day in my automobile!
2. La di da, oh what a gorgeous – KAPLOW!
3. Holy shit! Did I just run over a land mine?
4. :: pulls over as the car ka-thunks :: It must just be my shocks. Or the road. Totally won't be a flat tire, I bet.
5. :: gets out and looks at a flat as fuck tire :: Juuuuust great.
6. OK, I'll just change it myself.
7. How hard can that be, right?
8. I mean, those NASCAR crews do it in like two seconds.
9. :: opens trunk and gets out spare :: It's so small. Why is it so small? That can't be safe.
10. :: gets out jack :: This looks troublesome.
11. I should probably just call AAA.
12. Crap. I don't have AAA.
13. Who do I know has AAA?
14. Screw it. This is something I need to do on my own.
15. :: grabs tire iron :: BRING IT ON, TIRE!
16. Wait, which way do I turn the lug nuts?
17. LOL "nuts."
18. Crap. This is not budging.
19. Maybe I should call my dad.
20. Nah. The last thing I need right now is to hear, "See! You should have watched closer when I did it!"
21. Let me try one more time... Nope.
22. Maybe a good Samaritan will stop and help me?
23. But what if they actually turn out to be an axe murderer who wants my skin for lampshades?
24. Why didn't I check my tire pressure before leaving?
25. Wait, do people do that? Never mind. This is pointless.
26. I'm throwing in the towel.
27. :: searches for "tire place" on Google Maps :: Well, there's one a few blocks from here. Maybe I can make it there.
28. :: puts everything back and gets in car :: Please make it there.
29. :: ka-thunks all the way to the tire place at a snail's pace :: Made it!
30. What a relief! I'm glad a professional is handling this.
31. Hope they have the tire in stock.
32. Hope they can get it done quickly.
33. :: gets quote :: $200?!?!?! FOR ONE TIRE? DOES THAT COME WITH SEX?
34. Is it too late to move to a place with good public transportation?
35. :: hands over credit card :: Sorry, dad. I should've watched closer. As always, you were right.