And then the next you’re all…
What’s happening? Oh, it’s called “having a boner.”
2. When you realize you had a “wet dream.”
No, the dream wasn’t real, but the aftermath was. Guess you can call this a “sticky situation.”
3. When you notice your first pubic hairs.
Where did they come from, indeed, Mr. Linkletter.
4. When someone comments on your smell.
It’s not your fault that you forgot to put on deodorant. I mean, what are you? A Senior?
5. When your voice cracks at the worst times.
Wonderful, now everybody is looking at you. Hope they don’t notice that boner you’re trying to hide with that book.
6. When you can’t control being moody.
What are you angry about? Who cares? All that matters is that nobody understands you, and you have a raging boner.
7. When your dad’s friend jokes about that “dirt on your upper lip.”
It’s too little to shave and not enough to call a “mustache,” but that doesn’t mean you want to be ridiculed about it. But it is coming in rather nicely, if I do say so myself.
8. When your body aches from growing pains.
That’s not the only thing aching from growing so much. I’m talking about your boner, of course.
9. When your mom finds your “special towel.”
Or blanket, whatever. But where else are you supposed to put your, uh… “stuff”?
10. When someone finally tells you how sex works.
Whether it be your parent, teacher, or whoever, the explanation makes you simultaneously excited and petrified. And gives you a boner.
11. When you break out in what can only be described as “the most epic acne ever.”
No matter what you try, nothing seems to work. I mean, creams, salves, boners… er, I mean toners…
12. When you’re either way shorter or way taller than everybody else.
Either way kind of blows, but being taller would be worse since your boner would be more at eye level.
13. When you have to get undressed in the locker room.
Also known as “how to change clothes without anyone noticing your boner.”
14. When someone notices your boner.
“It’s just my pants! I swear!” — You, with an obvious boner.
15. When other boys your age seem so much older than you.
These are the same guys that are like, “Yeah, I got a girlfriend. She touches my boner all the time.” These guys are usually liars.
16. When you realize you’ve been creepily staring at your crush during lunch break.
Oh, and that you’ve had a boner the whole time. Good job with that.
17. When you are just awkward in general.
Your clothes don’t seem to fit right and everything is uncomfortable. It’s basically the perfect storm of awkwardness with a non-stop boner.