Promoted

18 Things Only People Who Hate Camping Understand

The only tent I’ll be pitching is in my pants, thank you very much.

1. For starters, camping is NOT a vacation.

An all-inclusive resort with tropical drinks is a vacation. Camping is just practice for the zombie apocalypse.

2. Being in the middle of nowhere is not your idea of a good time.

Want to escape reality for a few days? That’s what Netflix is for.

3. Someone always wants to set up camp as far away as humanly possible, much to your chagrin.

“I know, let’s drive six hours, walk another two, then set up camp!” —An idiot who likes to camp

4. Tents are dumb and take forever to put up.

5. It’s dirty because dirt is all around you AT ALL TIMES!

Your clothes get dirty, your food gets dirty, everything gets dirty. Again, how is this fun?

6. There are stupid bugs everywhere.

Know what doesn’t have face-eating spiders the size of softballs? The Four Seasons.

7. There are dangerously lethal animals stalking your every move*.

*Probably.

8. Night = the darkest dark in the history of darkness.

You better have a flashlight or else you might accidentally pee on a porcupine, which I wouldn’t recommend.

9. Good luck sleeping in, since the sun will be bright as fuck.

Because who doesn’t want to get up at the crack of dawn on vacation?

10. Starting a campfire is not easy, and, quite frankly, not worth the effort.

If I want s’mores I can just walk to my stove and make one from the comfort of my own kitchen.

11. Plus, campfires are just forest fires waiting to happen.

This kid gets it.

12. There are poisonous plants disguised as regular plants just waiting for you to touch them.

It’s nature’s way of saying, “GTFO.”

13. The days are fine, but you will freeze your ass off at night.

Sunblock? Check. Frisbee? Check. Antarctic expedition jacket? Double check.

14. Cooking on those little stoves is awful and you hate it.

Flickr: simononly / Via Creative Commons

If I wanted to cook on a miniature surface I can just use an EZ Bake Oven. At least that way there are brownies in the end.

15. People constantly telling you how awesome camping is can go suck it.

Know what else is probably awesome? Fighting sharks, but you don’t see me jumping into the Great Barrier Reef with boxing gloves on, do you?

16. Sleeping on the floor is a horrible, horrible idea.

Flickr: akeg / Via Creative Commons

Nothing like capping the day off by sleeping on cold, hard, uncomfortable earth!

17. With no cell phone reception, if you get lost you’re screwed.

There’s no checking Google Maps when you’re lost in the wilderness. So unless you can navigate by the stars — which you can’t — you will most likely be found dead in two weeks with a note that reads, “Why did I go camping?”

18. It’s boring as hell.

Flickr: paxson_woelber / Via Creative Commons

Sorry, camping, but you’re basic and you know it.

See ya never, camping!

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

 
 

    Contributions

    Here Are The Top Stories
    • Britain marks 10 years since 52 people were killed in terrorist attacks in London.
    • Bill Cosby testified in 2005 that he obtained sedatives to give to women he wanted to have sex with, the AP reports.
    • The South Carolina legislature took a key step toward removing the Confederate flag from statehouse grounds.
    • Reddit's CEO apologized for the site's "long history of mistakes."
    Get The News App

    Hot Buzz

    What Genius Hack Should Every Teacher Know?

    collection

    What’s The Worst/Best Drunken Online Purchase You’ve Ever Made?

    collection

    Now Buzzing