1. A Yogurtland opening within walking distance from your house.
Because that one that is a five-minute drive away is five minutes too long.
2. Finding street parking with intelligible signage.
Or better yet no signs. What a world that would be.
3. Remembering that it is free museum day at LACMA and that you have the day off.
Not that you will go, but it’s nice to have the option.
4. Stumbling on a place that has all-day happy hour instead of 5–7 p.m. when everyone is working.
Especially if it’s an off time, like a weekend or lunchtime.
5. Walking into work and seeing that someone has brought Sprinkles for everyone.
Your juice cleanse can go screw itself.
6. Not being mistaken for a wanted fugitive.
At least we’re polite about not wanting to be shot.
7. Seeing Angelyne.
She is like unicorn. A beautiful, blonde, pink-loving unicorn with big boobs. God love her.
8. Coming across NO traffic at Hollywood and Highland during rush hour.
One can wish, right?
9. Being super hungry and having a magical food truck appear.
10. Getting your meeting in Santa Monica at 3 p.m. canceled.
Hooray! Now you won’t have to fight that horrendous traffic!
11. Getting a parking spot right away at Trader Joe’s.
Trader Joe’s is a great store, but their parking lot architect is the devil incarnate and must be stopped.
12. A subway to the beach.
Please don’t fall through, please don’t fall through, please don’t fall through…
13. Finally getting an NFL franchise.
Even if you don’t like sports, you can recognize the fact that we need a team. It’s embarrassing, really.
14. Finding out your friend doesn’t need you to drive them to LAX after all.
“Oh, you’re taking the FlyAway? You sure?” —You, as you dance ecstatically on the other end of the phone
15. The weather getting cold enough to wear that new sweater you bought.
68 degrees? Time to layer up!
16. Not being affected by Obama coming into town/the L.A. marathon.
17. Having a conversation that doesn’t involve “the business.”
Seriously, anything but that subject is much appreciated.
18. Meeting a celeb you actually care about.
Even if they’re a little grumpy.
19. Parking at a meter that still has time on it.
20. Going to the beach and not having someone set up their stuff a foot away from you.
Also, you remember to bring a chip clip so your Doritos don’t get all sandy.
21. Getting a table at Father’s Office.
Because LOOK AT THAT BURGER.
22. Going to the Grove and getting good parking despite the fact that there is a concert happening.
Plus you have a gift certificate to Sur La Table so it’s basically like you just won the lottery.
23. Getting an alert that your yoga in the park class was canceled.
Good thing that Yogurtland opened up.
24. Exiting the freeway right before traffic is starting.
It’s like your Spidey sense was tingling, but instead of crime you sensed gridlock.
25. Eating a danger dog and feeling fine after.
Extra bacon, please!