1. Wearing white socks for all occasions.
White socks are appropriate for working out and for using as dust cloths. That’s it. I know they’re “just socks” but it’s the little things like this that say a lot about the man.
2. Confusing the difference between sneakers and exercise shoes.
Sneakers = acceptable footwear, i.e., Nike Air Max, Converse, Vans, etc.
Exercise shoes = meant for exercises like running, i.e., Saucony, Nike Frees, whatever your dad wears.
3. Untucking dress shirts that need to be tucked.
Basic rule: If the shirt curves at the bottom it should be tucked in. Otherwise, he’ll look boxy and a bit slovenly, so do him a solid and make sure he knows what’s up.
4. Not matching shoes to his belt.
Speaking of tucking in shirts, make sure his belt matches his shoes, OK? They don’t have to be super matchy-matchy, but if he is wearing brown shoes a brown belt is needed.
5. Ill-fitting suits, in general.
Too big is bad. Too small is worse. Do yourself a favor and read this, then help a brother out.
6. Affliction/Tapout/MMA T-shirts when he in fact does not do MMA.
Chances are the closest he ever got to being in the octagon was when he watched UFC 170 at Buffalo Wild Wings.
8. Wearing nut-tight jeans like it is still 2006.
Again, please stop.
9. Buying sunglasses that aren’t right for his face shape.
Ugh, and don’t even get me started on wraparound glasses.
11. Refusing to wear shorts in the correct length/fit.
Like pants, baggy is no good and neither is ball-suffocating tight. Plus, too short and everyone can see the goods, too long and he looks like he stole his mother’s capris. Right at or above the knee is the sweet spot.
12. Overly matching because your man heard matching is what you’re supposed to do.
This is an example of a good tip gone bad. Yes, matching is important, but that doesn’t mean everything has to be in the same pattern or color. So the next time he throws on an outfit like this, nudge him to think again about his choices.
13. Still rocking flip-flops with jeans.
PLEASE, DO THE HUMAN RACE A BIT OF SERVICE AND STOP THE INSANITY!
14. Wearing shirts like this to events because he considers them formal wear.
Damn you, Charlie Sheen! These are meant for bowling alleys, not weddings!