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11 Absurd Products Women Have Been Told To Buy So Men Don’t Rape Them

Much easier to tell women to go shopping than to teach men not to rape, right?

1. This anti-rape vending machine dress.

Aya Tsukioka

In 2009, fashion designer Aya Tsukioka created an “anti-rape/mugging dress” that turns the wearer into a faux vending machine. That should do it!

2. These hairy-leg tights.

These tights were designed to deter “perverts,” but warns a blogger, “This will not only prevent against perverts, it’ll definitely also result in preventing handsome guys from approaching you. When things go to the extreme, they can only go the opposite direction!!!” NOBODY WANTS THAT, DO THEY? (These may also actually be a joke too.)

3. This “Guardian Angel” anti-rape necklace (or bracelet!).

Per the website, the Guardian Angel “creates a distraction” for women in “an uncomfortable situation.” Simply press the button, and a fake call is sent to your cell phone, allowing you to…pretend you have a phone call. Holding down the button sends a text with the wearer’s GPS coordinates to a friend.

The designers told Fast Company: “Some young women may not feel confident enough to tell a guy — especially one they know or think they may like, or is part of an extended social group — who’s starting to get drunk and too touchy to shove off.” Ohhh, just be more *confident*!

The necklace (plus shipping and delivery) sells for $130.

4. These “consent panties.”

Earlier this year, Canadian student Amulya Sanagavarapu launched a Kickstarter to fund a project called “Consent Pants,” or a variety of women’s panty styles with ostensibly anti-rape messages. British style site The Debrief described the product thusly: “Sick of having to say ‘no’ with your tiny woman’s mouth every time a bloke pushes his luck? Don’t worry, these handy consent pants can do it for you!”

5. Female condoms with “teeth.”

In 2010, Dr. Sonnet Ehlers (of South Africa) attracted media attention for distributing these female condoms — implanted with “teeth” that attach to a man’s penis upon penetration, requiring removal by a doctor — in various cities where that year’s World Cup was being played and celebrated. “The ideal situation would be for a woman to wear this when she’s going out on some kind of blind date … or to an area she’s not comfortable with,” said Ehlers.

6. This anti-rape lingerie.

Designed by a team of engineers in India, this “anti-rape underwear” contains a GPS device and pressure sensors and is able to send shock waves of 3,800 kV into offenders. So, just wear this every single day, no matter what, and you should be set.

7. This “anti-rape wear.”

Last year, New York company “AR Wear” (that’s Anti-Rape Wear) launched an Indiegogo campaign for their brand, which makes ultra-tight running shorts, underwear, and “traveling shorts” that are meant to be “resistant to pulling, tearing and cutting.” Their euphemistic motto: “A clothing line offering wearable protection for when things go wrong.”

8. This anti-rape whistle from Etsy.

etsy.com / Via Etsy

Says the seller: “It hangs from a 31-inch length of lovely vintage, solid brass cable chain with soldered links (for strength). I’ve also added flashy, vintage, solid brass beads and a high quality, vintage brass spring clasp, to make this a beautiful piece of jewelry, as well as your best buddy in that dark parking lot.”

9. An anti-rape belt buckle.

As part of a high school project, two teenage girls in Sweden created this “anti-rape belt buckle,” which requires two hands to remove and therefore certainly makes rape IMPOSSIBLE. The buckles sold for $50.

10. These “anti-molestation jackets.”

In 2004, two students at India’s National Institute of Fashion Technology created what they called an “anti-molestation jacket” that would emit 110 volts of electricity when it “detects unwanted advances.” Button-activated, the jacket was available “in denim and acrylic.”

11. The “killer tampon.”

In 2000, a 72-year-old man named Jaap Haumann invented what he called a “killer tampon” containing a spring blade that allegedly would, when activated, slice off the tip of a man’s penis.

Women interviewed by the local newspaper were not impressed:

“I would be extremely uncomfortable. Again the onus is put on the woman. Men who rape women should be jailed for life. Men should not rape, end of story,” said one.

Another [woman] said Dr. Haumann has obviously had too much free time since retiring. “What kind of person thinks up such an idea? Hasn’t he got better things to do?”

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