1. So in the 1989 Disney classic The Little Mermaid, the most important character isn’t even on the cover.
2. Remember Prince Eric’s trusty sheepdog Max?
3. Well, it all starts with Eric making a grandiose statement while atop a ship.
4. And Max immediately gets to work.
6. And, in two seconds, he casually identifies the love of Eric’s life.
7. He looks back and forth trying to get Eric’s attention.
“Hey bro, might wanna check this out.”
8. Hmm, that doesn’t work. It’s ok, surely jumping on him will do the trick!
9. Ok, so now Ariel sees Eric for the first time and is that much closer to trading her voice for human legs. Progress.
10. So then Ariel saves Eric and sings to him.
11. Max does his duty as smartest character in the movie and promptly wakes Eric up.
12. (Remarkably, Eric is somehow too slow to catch a MERMAID with NO LEGS leaving the shore.)
13. Max carefully notes that Ariel does, in fact, live in the sea.
14. A fact he tries to make known to Eric and Grimsby, but to no avail.
15. But even when Ariel gets her legs and loses her voice, he totally recognizes her.
16. “ERIC, THIS IS HER, ERIC, ERIIIIIIC”
17. “Here, I’ll lick her, in case you were still confused”
18. “I’ll push you closer together because somehow it’s still not obvious”
19. But Max’s attempts fall on deaf ears.
20. He simply doesn’t understand how it’s not completely clear that they’re meant to be.
22. But Eric and the entire kingdom somehow get duped by Ursula’s disguise.
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