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    21 Fortune Cookies With Something Extra To Give... In Bed

    After noshing on sesame chicken, these desserts leave us with their vaguest wisdom. But the never-too-old joke of adding "in bed" gives that said wisdom a more... useful context.

    Jason Sweeten
    by Jason Sweeten

    BuzzFeed Creative

    1.

    Flickr: 57067566@N05

    ...and then you just get used to it.

    2.

    pinterest.com

    I'm flattered, really, but there has got to be something else God could focus on for a little bit.

    3.

    imgur.com

    I appreciate you being so forward, but you gotta buy a girl a drink first.

    4.

    Flickr: coneybeare

    I'll assume this gift is not on the registry.

    5.

    Twitter: @coollike

    There are some things the American people could do without seeing.

    6.

    imgur.com

    Let's just add this to the list of ways to treat yo self.

    7.

    Flickr: chanceman

    There's a best position? Thanks, cookie. I promise to share this valuable information with the entire world.

    8.

    Flickr: photophonic

    (This space intentionally left blank)

    9.

    Flickr: stomptokyo

    Nope. Stop. Cannot. Unlearn. Blargh.

    10.

    Flickr: 44633535@N06

    Any moment now. Almost there. Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it...

    11.

    Flickr: jscottcooper

    Fantastic. I'm just going to accept this as confirmation for my guest appearance on Gigolos.

    12.

    imgur.com

    But learning is half the fun, amiright?

    13.

    imgur.com

    I've heard these called many a name, but "short stranger" and "blessings" are certainly firsts.

    14.

    imgur.com

    That's cool. Some people are into weirder stuff than others.

    15.

    pinterest.com

    "No, seriously, the pizza guy asked if I ordered it with extra sausage."

    16.

    uchinavisa.com

    What? You mean you don't like it when I do that?

    17.

    Via monthsbehind.us

    Maybe this cookie got "unexpected" confused with the word "expected." Happens all the time.

    18.

    imgur.com

    Oh look, a prop from Teeth.

    19.

    Flickr: fidd

    Thanks for the warning.

    20.

    Flickr: i0i0i00i0i

    If your audience isn't both of those adjectives, it's time to dump that audience and find a more supportive one.

    21.

    Flickr: moviejulie

    And... scene.