3/1 Ozzie says that Hanley Ramirez and José Reyes look “queer” with their matching orange hair.
9/1 Ozzie gets thrown out of a game for arguing balls and strikes during the pre-game lineup card exchange.
5/1 After the Heat lose in the playoffs, Guillén claims he knew it would happen, because LeBron James is a “little girl.”
8/1 To avoid getting into trouble, Ozzie starts pretending that he doesn’t speak any English.
20/1 Ozzie pulls Mark Buehrle after one scoreless inning with no explanation. After the game he admits he was drunk and didn’t know what was happening.
100/1 Ozzie Guillén goes on Hugo Chávez’s radio program (again) and gives a heartfelt apology to both the Venezuelan president and Fidel Castro for today’s heartfelt apology.
75/1 Guillén says that he thinks Justin Bieber’s music isn’t half bad “For a little gay boy.” He has no idea why people are mad.
50/1 Ozzie drunkenly takes a bat to the home run sculpture in center field. After a win.
75/1 Ozzie gets thrown out for arguing a bad call that benefited his team. Ozzie’s just really into umps getting it right. He’s the league’s ombudsmen.
7/1 Ozzie’s love of bullfighting leads him to go down to Mexico to participate in the “sport.” Ozzie doesn’t lose.