Lindsay Lohan’s Playboy Photos [NSFW]

Or “The Repurposing Of Marilyn Monroe’s Image In Attempt To Control The Perception Surrounding A Train Wreck We Caused.”

So we had to take these images down, but there’s still an article here, and that’s clearly what you came here for. The only place to see these photos online is on Playboy.com.

Lindsay Lohan is not Marilyn Monroe. That’s not to say they don’t have some similarities. Monroe was hated by many a director (Billy Wilder, who was responsible for her most successful films, famously despised her). She was self-destructive. She was beautiful. But she lived at a time when the American people didn’t want to know what stars looked like without their makeup. We liked the makeup. The makeup was kind of the point.

Image by Pool / Getty Images

Now we don’t romanticize our heroes. Or we do, but only long enough so that when we discover their truth, we can beat our chests and wail about how we were deceived. How that cute, talented red-head who starred in that movie we all loved, was somehow lying to us the whole time. Monroe never faced that. When we finally did have the curtain pulled back, after her death, we saw her life for what it was, a tragedy. Not just that she had died young, though that certainly was tragic, but the real tragedy was that the beautiful woman whom everyone loved, had been in pain for so long. We didn’t feel like she had lied, we felt like we hadn’t asked the right questions. It was our fault. It reflected poorly on us.

Image by Pool / Getty Images

This isn’t to say that Monroe enjoyed a freedom from the press, but Hollywood was different then. Celebrities could talk to a reporter and then go on their way. They were allowed private lives that wouldn’t wind up in the papers. Now, we don’t allow stars the dignity of private pain. And by tearing away not just the curtain, but the entire proscenium arch, we force ourselves into their personal narratives. We become their co-stars. Their investigators.

Image by Pool / Getty Images

Lindsay Lohan hasn’t starred in a major movie since 2007’s “I Know Who Killed Me,” but she’s never been more visible than she has been in the last 4 years. During that time she’s battled addiction repeatedly, yet never once have we stepped back to give her the privacy to battle her demons. In fact stories would leak from inside rehab facilities! At a time when most people get privacy, we actually dove deeper. “Who is Lindsay hanging out with? Was she drinking the other night? Don’t her teeth look fucked up? That’s probably from the drugs.” How can we look at her with judgment and yet no feeling of shame or culpability? Who among us knows how we would react to such scrutiny? It’s Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle sprinkled with cocaine.

Image by Pool / Getty Images

So sure those photos are photoshopped. And sure her doing the shoot was a desperate cash grab, but when looking at the photos, try to remember that we did something to put her here. And though Lindsay is definitely not Marilyn Monroe, can you blame her for wishing she was? At least then we might leave her alone.

Image by Toby Canham / Getty Images