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10 Funniest Smiths Lyrics

Morrissey’s lyrics have a tendency to dwell on unrequited love, rainy days, and cemetery gates. Funny right?

1. “The Queen Is Dead”

Lyrics:

And so I checked all the registered historical facts
And I was shocked and ashamed to discover
How I’m the 18th pale descendant
Of some old queen or other

So, I broke into the palace
With a sponge and a rusty spanner
She said : “Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing”
I said : “That’s nothing - you should hear me play piano”

Take that, monarchy.

2. “Handsome Devil”

Lyrics:

Let me get my hands
On your mammary glands

3. “Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others”

Lyrics:

As Anthony said to Cleopatra
As he opened a crate of ale:

Oh, I say:
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girl’s mothers are bigger than
Other girl’s mothers

4. “Ask”

Lyrics:

Spending warm summer days indoors
Writing frightening verse
To a buck-toothed girl in Luxembourg

5. “Sheila Take A Bow”

Lyrics:

Sheila take a, Sheila take a bow
Boot the grime of this world in the crotch, dear

6. “Nowhere Fast”

Lyrics:

I’d like to drop my trousers to the Queen
Every sensible child will know what this means

Him and the Queen…

7. “Half A Person”

Lyrics:

Then I’ll tell you the story of my life :
Sixteen, clumsy and shy
I went to London and I,
I booked myself in at the Y … W.C.A.
I said : “I like it here - can I stay ?
I like it here - can I stay ?
Do you have a vacancy
For a back scrubber?”

8. “Shakespeare’s Sister”

Lyrics:

I thought that if you had
An acoustic guitar
Then it meant that you were
A protest singer

9. “William, It Was Really Nothing”

Lyrics:

How can you stay with a fat girl who’ll say
“Oh, would you like to marry me,
And if you like you can buy the ring?”
She doesn’t care about anything…

10. “Still Ill”

Lyrics:

I decree today that life
Is simply taking and not giving
England is mine - it owes me a living
But ask me why, and I’ll spit in your eye

Hysterical, indeed.

Did we miss any? Share them with us in the comments!

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