17 Things Every British Person Misses About Being A Student

RIP freedom.

1. Refusing to get out bed until past midday.

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A horror story: once you start a 9-5, your body literally will not let you sleep past 9am. On the upside, it allows for thousands of graduates every year to get really really into brunch on the weekends.

2. Group watching daytime TV in your underwear.

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Farewell Jezza, you were our good companion for three short years.

3. Making an event of getting as drunk as possible as quickly as possible before the actual event begins.

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In the real world, people do their predrinking in actual pubs. No more hastily downing a bottle of vodka-squash then packing up some journey juice before hitting the clubs. RIP budget boozing.

4. Slamming professional photos of you from every night out.

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You'll never be able to go out for the sole purpose of getting a new profile picture ever again.

5. Cheap deals on pizza.

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Now we have to wait until Tuesday like the rest of the idiot world.

6. Spending an inappropriate amount of time and money on making yourself look ridiculous.

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You've spent three years building up the essential fancy dress wardrobe. But now when you suggest Pub Golf or Avatar themed drinking sessions, your former partners in crime just shake their head slowly, like you didn't watch them don a swimming cap so they could dress up as an egg less than a year ago.

7. Dedicating parts of your day to rejuvenating yourself.

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#BringBackNaps2k15

8. Completely arbitrarily hating another group of people, guilt-free.

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I'm talking about varsity rivalries here; you can try to rally your office into chanting loudly about the office opposite yours, but it's unlikely to happen, isn't it?

9. Sex that literally costs you nothing.

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Condoms are hella expensive. The only price you had to pay for them at university was the awkwardness of strolling up to the desk in the student union and, without breaking eye contact with the officer at the desk, slowly pouring the entire bucket of them into your bag.

10. Living, working and playing all within a square mile.

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Sure, it made you criminally lazy, and probably in no way prepared you for life, but WASN'T IT AMAZING?!

11. Not giving a fuck about your appearance.

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University was that beautiful lull between desperately caring about your appearance during sixth form, and society forcing you to care about it after you graduate.

12. Lots of lovely free money from the government.

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Before you had to start thinking about oh god how are you ever going to pay it back now.

13. Dedicating four months each summer to utter hedonism.

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FOUR. BLISSFUL. MONTHS. Remember that? Remember how you just wasted them getting daytime drunk in your local pub? Remember how gloriously free you were?

14. Having a squad.

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There's nothing like walking around campus and bumping into 5 or 10 people you know in the space of twenty minutes.

15. The whole university being your sexually available buffet table.

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University was a tiny, incestuous bubble, where no matter who you fancied, you knew someone who could spill the dirt on them. Remember that fondly as you swipe forlornly through your 17th consecutive tinderboy wearing an ironic snapback.

16. The library.

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OK, so this might be more like Stockholm Syndrome rather than actual fondness, but there was a real sense of camaraderie when you and your fellow sufferers were bound by despair and identical deadlines. It's just not the same as the lonely panic of working in the office by yourself until near midnight because you, predictably, fucked your deadlines for that big project.

17. Rambling 4am kitchen conversations.

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You'll probably never feel as clever as you did when you threw down Foucault in an argument about reality TV after a night out. After uni, it's more about hydrating and preparing yourself mentally for the two day hangover that's bound to follow.

I guess this is just our lives now.

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