In a recent interview, chairman of Barilla pasta, Guido Barilla, said the company would never use a gay couple in its advertising.
“I would never do (a commercial) with a homosexual family, not for lack of respect but because we don’t agree with them,” Barilla said. “Ours is a classic family where the woman plays a fundamental role.”
Looking back at past Barilla commercials, it’s clear why they can’t use a gay family.
1. Pasta is an important food source for heterosexuals.
If gay people eat up all the pasta, then what will heterosexuals eat? Vegetables? I don’t think so.
2. Straight people rely on pasta to fall in love.
If pasta gets too gay, how will straight people have romantic dinners?
3. Straight dogs rely on pasta to fall in love.
It’s Lady and the Tramp. Not the Tramp and Steve.
4. And then straight people rely on famous portrayals of straight dogs to fall in love.
5. Pasta just oozes raw (hetero)sexuality.
So sexy, in a traditional family kind of way.
6. 15% of heterosexual romances start from a stranger watching you make pasta through a window.
7. 38% of heterosexual romances start with a handsome chef bringing you a giant plate of tortellini.
8. A whopping 42% of heterosexual romances start from eating pasta like this.
9. A woman’s role in the family is makin’ all the pasta.
Have you ever experienced the frustration of being a heterosexual woman about to make some pasta and then a gay couple comes in and makes it for you? What are you supposed to do then when your womanly role has been usurped?