10 Reasons Barilla Shouldn’t Have A Gay Family In Its Commercials

Look, guys, spaghetti is straight. posted on

In a recent interview, chairman of Barilla pasta, Guido Barilla, said the company would never use a gay couple in its advertising.

“I would never do (a commercial) with a homosexual family, not for lack of respect but because we don’t agree with them,” Barilla said. “Ours is a classic family where the woman plays a fundamental role.”

Looking back at past Barilla commercials, it’s clear why they can’t use a gay family.

1. Pasta is an important food source for heterosexuals.

Barilla / Via youtube.com

If gay people eat up all the pasta, then what will heterosexuals eat? Vegetables? I don’t think so.

2. Straight people rely on pasta to fall in love.

Barilla / Via youtube.com

If pasta gets too gay, how will straight people have romantic dinners?

3. Straight dogs rely on pasta to fall in love.

Disney / Via giphy.com

It’s Lady and the Tramp. Not the Tramp and Steve.

4. And then straight people rely on famous portrayals of straight dogs to fall in love.

Barilla / Via youtube.com

5. Pasta just oozes raw (hetero)sexuality.

Barilla / Via youtube.com

So sexy, in a traditional family kind of way.

6. 15% of heterosexual romances start from a stranger watching you make pasta through a window.

Barilla

Barilla

 

7. 38% of heterosexual romances start with a handsome chef bringing you a giant plate of tortellini.

Barilla

Barilla

Barilla

 

8. A whopping 42% of heterosexual romances start from eating pasta like this.

Barilla / Via youtube.com

9. A woman’s role in the family is makin’ all the pasta.

Barilla / Via youtube.com

Have you ever experienced the frustration of being a heterosexual woman about to make some pasta and then a gay couple comes in and makes it for you? What are you supposed to do then when your womanly role has been usurped?

10. And of course, the foundation of a traditional family should be built on pasta.

Barilla / Via youtube.com

Trust, love, understanding—you’re wasting your time. FOCUS ON PASTA.

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

Facebook Conversations
          
    Hot Buzz

    Here’s The Trailer For "Orange Is The New Black" Season 2

    omg

    Proof That Beards Can Totally Change Your Face

    lol
    Now Buzzing