1. You get YOUR VERY OWN stall.
ALL of this is yours! In this crazy world, it’s a privilege to have a space you can call your own.
2. You get to really showcase your shoes.
Check out these babies without the distraction of the rest of my outfit or body.
3. When someone could choose absolutely any stall, but they lovingly choose the one right next to you.
What an honor. It shows a level of intimacy and camaraderie that’s hard to feel outside a bathroom setting. Soul mate found.
4. Two words: Automatic flushing. Welcome to the future!
The toilet takes away the stress of deciding when to flush so you don’t have to! Thanks, robot toilet!
5. The true journey of self discovery that comes with being trapped in a stall without toilet paper.
The ultimate test of character.
6. Long lines = The excitement of being at an amusement park.
But you get to pee without being banned for life from Magic Mountain.
7. The thrill and the sport of flimsy locks.
Is someone barging in on you? Are you getting trapped inside? Just roll the dice and live, damn you, live!
9. You get to learn things about people that you would never know otherwise.
All kinds of things.
10. Pre-warmed toilet seats.
Some people pay big bucks for a luxury car with seat warmers. You get it free.
11. The space between the doors provides a thrilling mix of danger and peek-a-boo.
12. People who talk on the phone in the bathroom… are basically giving you a free master class on how to multi-task.
13. People who brush their teeth and do their makeup… allow you to transcend space and time like you’ve been magically transported to their personal home bathroom.
It’s like peeing in a stranger’s home!
15. Unpleasant odors make us FEEL ALIVE.
How could you truly appreciate the smell of a rose or a fancy lady’s perfume without the juxtaposition of bathroom smells?
16. Knowing that behind any stall door could be a hidden surprise.
Like a half submerged toilet seat cover or any number of other unexpected things.
17. A chance to marvel at life’s greatest mysteries.
Like how on earth did all this urine end up quite like this? Seriously, how?