How To Make Lavender Shortbread And Be So Fancy

Let's eat some flowers.

Lavender shortbread is surprisingly easy to make. Plus, you get to feel real fancy. "Care for a lavender shortbread?" you ask. "What is this, 'Downton Abbey'?" reply all your friends just before their brains explode with fanciness.

INGREDIENTS

2 sticks unsalted butter, softened to room-temperature

2 tablespoons dried lavender

1/2 cup sugar

2 cups flour

Purple food coloring (optional)

Special equipment

Food processor or blender

Cookie cutter or random cookie-shaped object

It all started with this insane-looking photo on Pinterest.

objetivocupcake.com

[Record scratch sound] These cookies are PURPLE. Does putting lavender in cookies really turn them purple?

Turns out, no. It's food coloring. But purple cookies still seem like a good idea.

Ended up adapting this recipe.

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Because it had fewer ingredients. Also, this is what lavender shortbread looks like when you don't use food coloring.

First: Find lavender.

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This may be the trickiest part. I basically had to go to an alchemist dungeon* (see above) to find it. I went with dried lavender but fresh is also acceptable.

As I made my way to the alchemist's secret lair on a dark, rainy night, I asked myself "What are you doing? No one is going to care if these cookies taste like lavender." But I pressed on in the name of fanciness.

The aged alchemist stepped from the shadows. "Yes, I can give you this lavender you speak of but first you must promise me your first-born child or suffer a terrible curse." And I was like, fine, whatever, just give me the dried flowers.**

*Actually, a nice herb store called Flower Power in the East Village.

**This did not happen. I bough it from a nice lady using money.

Some grocery stores like Whole Foods and Fairway carry lavender.

Food?

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1. Add sugar and lavender to food processor.

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Chop until well mixed, about 30 seconds.

The original recipe called for 2 teaspoons of lavender. I used 2 tablespoons because YOLO.

Will this look like you're eating mothy gray plant particles?

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Surprisingly, no! I mean, it does now, but it won't later.

2. Combine butter and lavender-sugar.

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3. Add food coloring if you want to be out of control.

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I had to think back to grade school to be sure blue and red make purple. Food coloring that's already purple is recommended for better results.

Will this make it look like gray sludge?

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Kind of! But it's fine.

4. Add flour and stir with a fork until evenly mixed.

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5. Roll out dough on floured surface and cut some lil' shortbreads out.

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I used the top of a blender as a cookie cutter. That yielded about two dozen cookies. Feel free to use a real cookie cutter if you think you're better than this.

Roll dough to about 1/4 inch thickness, the thicker, the better.

6. Bake for 15 minutes in 300 degree oven.

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If you let them get brown you'll be drowning in a pool of regrets.

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7. Make sure you stack the finished product.

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If you don't stack, it didn't happen.

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