christmas

20 Last-Minute Gifts For People You Don’t Care About

Whatever.

1. CD from Starbucks

Just pray they have a place to stick CDs into.

2. Vanilla shower gel

They have to shower, right? Do they even like vanilla? Not your problem.

3. Memo cube with a picture on the sides

There’s no way this will sit around unused for years.

4. Drugstore blanket

Soft? Wrapped up in a little roll? 100% polyester? Let’s do this.

5. A Whitman’s Sampler

The person you’re giving this to has to eat eventually. They might as well eat this.

6. $15 Chili’s gift certificate

Perfect for that person on your list who likes to spend a nice evening at Chili’s alone.

7. $10 Starbucks gift card

If you’re thinking You can only get like 1.5 drinks with this, remember, you don’t care about this person.

8. Wall calendar

Do they even like birds? Doesn’t matter. Don’t get sucked into the trap of looking at the hundreds of different kinds of calendars. Your time is valuable. Just pick one at random.

9. Magnetic sculpture

This will be a fun thing to put on their desk. Won’t it? WON’T IT? Just keep telling yourself yes.

10. Paperweight

How else will they hold down all their many papers?

11. Battery-operated candles

It’s OK if you forget the batteries.

12. Big shiny bulldog bank clock

In this fast-paced, modern world, we need gifts that can multitask. This will fulfill a recipient’s time-keeping, coin-holding, and shiny-dog needs.

13. Tote bag

Nobody doesn’t love toting stuff and/or brand awareness.

14. Big golden wishbone

No one can accuse you of not caring when you buy them a big, gold wishbone. (Purpose of this item is unknown, but it costs $58.)

15. “Family Guy” ornament

You can basically divide the world up into two categories: people who like ornaments and people who like Family Guy. You’ve covered your bases. And if, against all odds, your gift recipient likes both then you’ve really knocked it out of the park.

16. Magnetic “floating” pen

Make them believe in magic all over again! With a pen.

17. This thing

Clack-a-lack. Hell yeah.

18. M&M stress relief ball

Just picture the look of delight on their face when they open this. That alone makes it all worth it.

19. Bath oil beads

There’s not a person alive who couldn’t go for a nice, oiled-up bath right about now.

20. Giant candy cane

When all else fails, try a candy that’s too large to even eat.

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