1. The subway you have to transfer to is chilling out across the platform when you get there.
2. You go to Duane Reade and they inform you your $5 coupon is ready.
3. Your neighbor lets the UPS man in, so you don’t have to get one of these:
4. You meet a cute person and they’re actually “geographically desirable.”
I.e., he or she lives in your neighborhood or an adjacent one. SCORE.
6. A heat wave in the middle of February.
Because FUCK YOU, FEBRUARY.
8. Finding a happy hour that starts at 7 p.m. instead of 4 p.m.
Attention, bars: No one I know gets out of work at 4.
9. A house party that doesn’t require you to get on the subway.
10. Your bodega actually has that weird ingredient you need.
11. A new apartment only requires first month’s rent and security.
No brokers’ fee? No last month’s rent?? HALLELUJAH!!!
12. You hit the Seamless delivery minimum with one entree.
(And you don’t have to order a can of Coke or a cookie because the minimum is $12.95 and all the entrees are conveniently $11.95.)
13. …And your food arrives faster than the expected wait time!
15. You get to the subway just as the doors slam shut, and the conductor opens them to let you on.
18. The Time Warner Cable man actually shows up for your appointment on time.
(This photo is from a Time Warner Cable hot guy calendar, which was apparently a thing.)
19. You move into a new apartment and the previous tenants left their window-unit air conditioner — INSTALLED.
20. You get cell phone reception underground for a brief shining moment, just long enough to send an important text.
22. The movie you wanted to see at Union Square at 8 p.m. on Saturday isn’t sold out.
23. Your bank’s ATM is the one in the bodega/drugstore.
So you don’t have to pay those stupid fees.