1. Twentysomething party: The fun doesn’t really get going until 11:30 p.m.
3. Twenties: You invite a million people and don’t care how many people are coming.
4. Thirties: Your guest rolled in with five of her friends and didn’t RSVP???
5. Twenties: Just throw your stuff wherever, it doesn’t matter.
6. Thirties: You gather coats and put them on your bed. Or on an actual coatrack!
7. The punch at a twentysomething party: a vat of Sunkist orange soda and Popov.
10. Thirties: huddling in bedrooms to look at someone’s wedding dress Pinterest board.
12. Thirtysomething party: checking out someone’s Vitamix.
OMG, I’ve wanted one for so long. How is it????
14. Thirties: discussing your passionate feelings about Jonathan Franzen.
15. Twentysomething party: Food is a couple of bags of random tortilla chips.
16. Thirtysomething party: Someone brought something homemade and uber-fancy to show off how good they are at cooking.
17. Twentysomething party: Your neighbors ask you to turn the music down.
19. Twenties: That one person brings an ironic six-pack of Smirnoff Ice.
21. Twenties: getting mad when you catch people hooking up in your bedroom.
22. Thirties: getting mad when you catch a guest doing the dishes for you.
25. Twenties: Take a bunch of shots with your fun quasi-alcoholic friend.
26. Thirties: Talk in concerned, hushed tones about how your quasi-alcoholic friend needs to “get it under control.”
28. Thirties: getting mad when someone accidentally takes home your casserole dish instead of theirs.
29. After a party in your twenties: You let the mess linger for days. (Maybe even…weeks.)
30. Thirtysomething party: You clean up that night (and your friends pitch in!).
31. Twenties: After the party it’s the after-party, then after the party it’s the hotel lobby.
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