1. In your twenties, you naively believe that your aspiring-whatever boyfriend will turn into your ideal guy.
In your thirties, you’re looking for a grown-up. None of this “aspiring” shit.
2. In your twenties, getting drunk on a first date is a GREAT first date.
In your thirties:
4. As a twentysomething, you can have a wedding Pinterest board and have it be funny/ironic.
In your thirties, that shit’ll just make your friends worried about you.
5. When you’re younger, you put up with so much bad and confusing behavior. WHY IS EVERYTHING SO BAD AND CONFUSING?
7. You before a first date in your twenties: Oh GOD, someone is going to judge you for the next two hours.
8. Twentysomethings: If you’ve started seeing someone you like, you usually have sex by the second or third date. (Sometimes because you want to make them like you.)
9. When you’re in your twenties and a guy pays for dinner, this is definitely included in the highlight reel you give your friend the next day.
In your thirties, it’s notable if he didn’t pay for dinner.
In your thirties, you’re working on keeping your public displays of affection in check.
11. In your twenties, you will date this guy. Over. And over. And over again.
In your thirties, you date no one same guy over and over again because you’re way more selective.
In your thirties, you find there are people who will listen to your legitimate feelings on relationships.
13. In your twenties, you’ll introduce just about any Justin-Bobby to your parents.
In your thirties, they’re only meeting your man- or ladyfriend if you think it’s something serious.
When you’re older, you’re much more cautious.
15. In your twenties, when you are in the beginning of a relationship, you are all up in their gchat.
In your thirties, you prefer to maintain a bit of mystery.
16. If you’re in your twenties and single, people naturally assume you’re on OkCupid. (You are.)
When you’re in your thirties, you’re also on OkCupid. Begrudgingly.
17. In your twenties: When you’re fed up with dating and being single and are about to freaking lose your mind, you think the problem is you.
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