21 Reasons Ira Glass Is The Most Perfect Man Alive

Hey, Ira, why don’t you come check out the American Life in MY PANTS.

1. His voice, which gets its trademark nasality from flawless sinuses hand-sculpted by God.

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2. He says things like this:

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4. And this:

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5. He’s the first cousin (once removed) of awesome composer Phillip Glass.

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6. This is his pitbull, Piney, whom he and his wife rescued.

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Seriously, just look at how adorable this is.

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7. He leads award-winning radio segments…

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8. …but he admits when he’s wrong.

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9. He’s even so amazing that people have to send their family members these greeting cards.

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10. He hangs out with cool people, like Joss Whedon.

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11. And Tavi Gevinson.

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12. And Tom Hanks.

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13. Sometimes, if you go to Brooklyn, he dances.

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14. Fred Armisen did a spot-on impersonation of him.

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15. He majored in semiotics (at Brown), which is a field full of pure badasses.

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16. He was adorable even in high school.

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17. AND in the ’90s:

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18. Sometimes he goes to the movies and eats popcorn, just like us.

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19. He hates public radio pledge drives just as much as you do.

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“The pledge drive has everything going against it as broadcasting. It’s repetitive. It’s ad-libbed by people who can’t ad-lib. It’s about asking for money, which is something nobody wants to hear, even from their own relatives. From the moment you open your mouth, people know where you’re going with it. As broadcasting, it’s the biggest challenge, and it’s the hardest thing to make interesting, because it can’t be made interesting.”

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21. In conclusion, you WISH you were this microphone. Sigh.

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