1. You wanted to live in the corner house with turrets in Lenton.
2. But as long as you didn’t end up in Rutland, you were happy.
3. Or Sutton Bonington. In fact, you’re not convinced Sutton Bonington exists.
4. If you lived further than Sainsbury’s, you had no chance of catching the 34 before 11am.
5. And if you lived higher than Derby Grove, no one would come to yours for pre-drinks.
6. Hugh Stu’s population was 99% from Surrey and 1% from Berkshire. And 100% of them wanted to be Karni reps.
7. Which is why they exclusively wore flip-flops and stash that showed off their ankle tattoos.
10. Which is impossible to explain to any non-Notts student.
11. Seasonal formals were the antithesis of formal.
12. And while the Summer Party was theoretically a good idea, it was ultimately painful.
13. Derby Road was a breeding ground for walks of shame.
14. An early morning walk across the downs between November and February was its own special form of torture.
15. But there wasn’t a hangover that a Chicken Joe from the Portland Building couldn’t cure.
16. The rivalry with Trent was very real and became unavoidably obvious in varsity season.
17. “Give me a D. Give me a D. Give me a D. What does that get? Into Trent.”
18. Hallward Library was the hottest and most densely populated place in the world.
20. All-nighters spent in the Sky Lounge were torturous.
21. Unless you did geography. Those whiners had no work and no problems.
22. Queuing for dinner always began 40 minutes early and you never understood why.
23. Rowing on the lake was always on your bucket list.
But somehow you never got round to it.
24. So was actually going to the gym.
Despite having bought a membership, the first time you went into the sports complex was for an exam.
25. Going incognito to Sainsbury’s was impossible. Everyone you’d ever had a one-night stand with would be guaranteed to be there.
26. The Savoy Cinema on an Orange Wednesday was basically legal robbery.
28. Too many walks to uni were put on hold for a drink in the Rose & Crown.
30. But if you went on a Wednesday, aka sports night, you’d live to regret it.
32. And now you’ve left, Friday nights without Ocean will never be the same again.
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