1. Meredith whines about everything in her life.
2. Derek has some hot-shot surgery and proves his worth as a kick-ass neurosurgeon.
3. Meredith whines about the fact that he thinks his career is more important than hers (it is).
4. Cristina calls Alex “evil spawn” or another affectionate insult.
5. An intern makes a mistake (and it probably was Leah).
6. A patient’s story is an unmistakeable metaphor for their doctor’s love life.
7. Webber says something wise.
8. A patient nearly dies.
9. A patient makes a miraculous recovery.
10. Said patient tearily hugs their loved ones while a Joshua Radin song plays.
11. It rains.
12. Cristina does something awesome or ground-breaking.
13. Meredith whines about how hard it is to be a mother and a surgeon.
14. Arizona and Callie are adorable.
15. You realise that this show is nothing without Addison.
16. A patient dies.
17. Their doctor has an existential crisis while sitting on a bench outside the ER and watching the rain.
18. Bailey teaches someone a lesson and is super sassy about it.
19. Arizona flashes her blinding smile at someone and you forget for a minute what was happening.
20. You remember how good this show used to be and have a moments silence for season three.
21. BUT THEN there’s a twist and you’re sucked right back in (Richard’s illegitimate love child, amirite?).
22. You get confused when someone calls Owen the Chief.
23. Owen and Cristina have a tense and sexually charged moment.
24. Meredith and Cristina have a conversation while walking through the corridors which ends with Mer shouting something motivational as Cristina hurries off to be superior.
25. Alex has a sappy moment with a young patient but then won’t let anyone see him being a good human being for once.
26. But Arizona always sees.
27. Arizona refers to her patients as “tiny humans”.
28. A doctor says something that you understand nothing of.
29. Someone drinks coffee out of a cup which is clearly empty.
30. April stands in the ER in a yellow gown, holding a folder and looking completely overwhelmed.
31. You feel a pang of sadness for Lexie and Mark every time you see the hospital’s new name.
32. Jo says or does something aggressive.
33. Something happens between Callie and Arizona and you get really worried that they’ll break up, but then they don’t.
34. April does or says something really annoying.
35. Cristina calls April out on being annoying.
36. Callie says something sarcastic.
37. Arizona counters it with something overly optimistic and sunny.
38. Callie wears dangly or hoop earrings.
39. Jackson reminds you that he’s a super privileged dude.
40. But then he takes off his shirt or looks into the camera with his pretty-boy eyes and suddenly he’s your favourite character.
41. A patient dramatically collapses in the middle of two characters having a deep conversation.
42. Usually just inside the ER doors.
43. Or someone runs in holding an injured and bleeding child yelling “I need a doctor!”.
44. Warren is just always there in the intern locker room but is never really integral to a scene.
45. Same with Stephanie, now that her kerfuffle with Jackson has died down.
46. Owen yells at someone and he just looks like a big redhead bear.
47. April either cries or is overly cheery.
48. Shane either does something crazy or is overly cheery.
49. We see Bokhee in the OR.
50. A patient suddenly flatlines on the table.
51. The doctor tells the nurse to push two of epi (whatever that is) and 95% of the time, the patient survives.
52. Derek wears his funny neurosurgeon glasses.
53. Derek pulls his funny glasses off in anger if his patient dies.
54. And then blames the intern that he allowed to be in the OR.
55. But then still always lets interns do difficult operations.
56. Derek’s an idiot.
57. Catherine Avery casually drops into conversation that she saved the hospital and we should be eternally grateful.