1. A hen party is your idea of actual hell because PENIS THINGS EVERYWHERE.
2. And going into a sex shop is just as terrible.
3. Your worst nightmare is receiving a sex-related present.
4. Or seeing a strip show.
5. Even now as an adult, you'll fast forward through sex scenes in films, or look away.
6. So you never bought into the Fifty Shades of Grey hype, because an erotic book is really just one long sex scene.
7. Sometimes your mates will be as graphic as possible when talking about sex just to wind you up.
8. And when they ask about your sex life, you want to disappear.
9. You don't mind them telling you about their one-night stands though, because you're living vicariously through them.
10. But when people talk about their wild stories, sometimes you can only think of the practicalities.
11. You can't get your head around the concept of underwear that's sexy but serves no practical purpose.
12. You're very word-sensitive when it comes to people talking about sex.
13. Which is why you have to think up your own, more PG versions.
14. When you're listening to a song with filthy lyrics, you can't actually bring yourself to sing along.
15. You've accepted that sexting is simply not your forté.
16. Because you're not sure how to get that whole ~talking sexy~ thing right when it's so damn crude.
17. Whilst you understand that the human body is great and all, you still don't know where to look when people get their bits out in the gym changing rooms.
18. You've laughed at someone's dirty joke but not actually been 100% sure what the punchline meant.
19. And you have still have so many questions about ~adult things~.
20. You've sometimes had to defend your prudish ways.
21. But none of the people who matter mind at all anyway.
22. And when you do say something dirty, the reaction from your friends is priceless.
