If College Courses Were Taught By Famous Pop Stars

Want a 4.0? You better work, bitch.

1. Better Scarlet Letters: The New Romantic Movement // Swift, Taylor

dammitlucas.tumblr.com

Course ID: ENGL 315

Time: TR, 12pm - 1:15pm

Description: We will survey an emerging community of writers billing themselves as “The New Romantics,” who investigate the transcendent issues of youth and romance. To echo their sentiment of “life is just a classroom,” this course will also be a writing workshop. Experience with essays, memoiristic work, and songwriting are recommended; experience with awful ex-boyfriends required.

2. Work Bitch: On Karl Marx’s Das Kapital // Spears, Britney

cuntamination.tumblr.com

Course ID: SOCI 255

Time: TR, 4:35pm - 5:50pm

Description: In this course, we will work with and against the keystone work, Karl Marx’s Das Kapital. As Marx posits, the motivating force of capitalism is in the exploitation of labor; the avenue through which we shall investigate this theorem is the pleasure derived from such labor in the structure of capitalism, wherein work is rewarded with hot bodies, Bugattis, and Maseratis, among others.

3. Pretty Hurts: Complicating and Challenging the American Institution of Beauty // Knowles, Beyoncé

alcoholz.tumblr.com

Course ID: WMST 302

Time: MW, 6am - 7:30am

Description: Exploring media representations and societal structures that create an environment for unhealthy beauty aspirations. This class meets promptly at 6am, doors will be locked at 6:01am.

4. Dirrty: On Sterotypical Representations of Latinas In American Media // Aguilera, Christina

casperxtina.tumblr.com

Course ID: ANTH 314

Time: WF 2pm - 3:15pm

Description: Taught by a renowned authoritarian on Latina representation in the media, we will take a close look at Mi Reflejo, an album that speaks to the truths of embracing yourself while occupying generally non-diverse spaces. There will also be mandatory visits to female wrestling matches.

5. The Boy Is Mine: Property and Liability In Law and Economics // Brown, Monica & Norwood, Brandy

Atlantic / Arista

Course ID: ECON 332

Time: TR, 3pm - 4:30pm

Description: In a society where we place ownership on individuals in emotional and physical spaces, this course seeks to explore the dangers and legalities of ownership in modern dating.

6. Feedback: The Unbearable Whiteness of Public Radio // Jackson, Janet

Island

Course ID: COMM 215

Time: TR 4:00pm - 5:45pm

Description: The face of public radio is one of overwhelming whiteness, so this course will seek to explore diverse outlets and programming in an effort to broaden the scope of public radio as a whole. Light skin, dark skin, and Asian persuasions will be our main focus. This course is what you make of it — feedback, feedback, feedback is encouraged.

7. God Is A DJ: Religion, Music, and The Aural Experience of Faith // P!nk

LaFace

Course ID: RELI 175

Time: WF 12pm - 1:15pm

Description: This course is an introduction to the intersections of faith and music, as well as its performance. We will survey Gregorian chants, a cappella traditions, black gospel traditions, among others. We will investigate the role of music in the dance floor that is love, with love as its rhythm.

8. Feeling Myself: The Face In The Pool and the Story of Echo and Narcissus // Minaj, Nicki

Young Money

Course ID: CLA 421

Time: F, 4pm - 6:30pm

Description: This course examines the unique bond between self-love and narcissism and how they play a part in the images we share with society. We will explore this through examining the several roles we play within our own psyches. Each human possesses a Nicki, a Roman, and an Onika — this course will shed some light on how those come into play in our relationships.

9. Peacock: On Eccentric Courtship and Mating Rituals in Urban Landscapes // Perry, Katy

havealittle-fun.tumblr.com

Course ID: SOC 411

Time: W 3pm - 5:15pm

Description: We live a patriarchal society with masculine notions of mating that permeate through all cultures. This course will seek to explore modern dating rituals through a female perspective, putting women in the driver's seat of their own pursuits and love and turning masculine traditions on their head. We will have a close look at the realities of kissing a girl and liking it and what happens when the victim of catcalling is given the power to demand the bravery of her male admirers.

10. We Never Rest On The Floor: Behavioral Effects Of Adrenaline In Brokers Of The New York Stock Exchange // Lopez, Jennifer

Island

Course ID: BIO/ECON 282

Time: M, 8am - 6pm

Description: The floor of the NYSE is a human biome, a living and breathing organism in and of itself. This dual Biology/Economics seminar observes it in action — from the opening bell to the close of the market. We will study the behavior of all participants on the floor and their consequential results as they reach the markets in Brazil, Morocco, London to Ibiza, straight to LA, New York, Vegas to Africa.

11. Rebel Heart: The Psychology of Poetry As Refuge From Civil Unrest // Ciccone, Madonna

Live Nation / Interscope

Course ID: ENGL 430

Time: MW 1:15pm - 2:35pm

Description: A lot of attention is paid to the poem as a vessel for romantic love, but this course will seek to explore the beauty that emerges in verse from nations that are in the midst of turmoil. We will highlight these "Rebel Hearts" as they respond to oppressive social environments and finds new ways to live for love in ways that are much less romantic than veni, vidi, and vici in nature.

12. Sexercize: The Intersection of Athleticism and Pleasure // Minogue, Kylie

Parlophone

Course ID: SOC 316

Time: TR, 9am - 10:30am

Description: This course will look to highlight the drive that keeps a small portion of our country in an athletic state of mind. Is it for mere health, or is it through the intense pheromones and sexual pleasure than can be derived from athleticism and the production of endorphins? We will not just explore athletics in the abstract, there will be hands-on workout regimens and movement workshops implemented with a goal of beating your best times by the course's conclusion.

13. The Way: Daoist Traditions in the Context of Lao Zi, Zhuang Zi, and the Neo-Daoists // Grande, Ariana

Republic / Via heyarianagrande.tumblr.com

Course ID: PHIL 220

Time: MW 3:10pm - 4:25pm

Description: Studies of the metaphysical, epistemological, ethical, and axiological contexts of the classical Chinese philosophy. As the tradition also means, “the way,” there will be a practical component to the class: we will examine the art of meditation in an attempt to — even at a scale of 1 to 10 — be at a 100.

14. Give Your Heart a Break: Empathizing with the Journeys of LGBT Youth // Lovato, Demi

weheartit.com

Course ID: SOC 423

Time: TR 2pm - 3:45pm

Description: Media representations and how they influence our ability to empathize with LGBT youth communities will be the crux of this course. We will also seek to take part in workshops and hands-on volunteering and local LGBT centers to better understand our coursework. Students must not necessarily be LGBT themselves, but extra attention will be paid to those already part of the community, and how they can use their personal histories and current triumphs to inform the worldviews of future LGBT adults.