1.
Fuck sake. If you don't like T in the Park, don't go, it's as simple as that.
2.
As it is June in Scotland, remember to check on elderly neighbours to make sure they're keeping warm...
3.
In Scotland, 'Canapé' is just an excuse for stealing.
4.
Promoted tweet. Visit Scotland in 2015 & experience it's exciting wildlife.
5.
Anyone who says there's no place for drugs in sport hasn't tried watching Scottish football sober
6.
Remember...outside Scotland it's called Smalltabix.
7.
Just been offered "Haggis Pakora Masterclass" on a voucher site. REALLY hoping it's a prog rock band
8.
#5pbagcharge People of England. We've had this in Scotland for over a year now. This is how you save 5p.
9.
Scotland, hate David Cameron? We have a club for that. It's called everyone and we meet in the pub.
10.
Disneyland is what they call swifts in Scotland.
11.
People saying Scotland doesn't have enough money for independance clearly have never had to buy a sandwich during the Edinburgh festival
12.
Been working on alternative flags should Scotland leave. No 1.
13.
Elton John has wordplay jokes written on the walls of his place in Scotland. It's a little bit punny, his ceiling in Clyde.
14.
What would have happened if Scotland had got to the World Cup final.
15.
Watching #celtic v #aberdeen with my brother. Two Scott Browns on the pitch, two Brown Scots watching
16.
Said nobody in the east end of Glasgow ever.
17.
An astronaut in the International Space Station just came back from the toilet to find an SNP candidate in their seat. #GE2015
18.
"Sean Connery famously has a tattoo on his arm saying 'Scotland Forever'. All that's missing are the words 'I'm Leaving' above it."
19.
Police brutality in america is fucking awful man polis in scotland probably flip coins for who's chapping the door and who's dain the talkin
20.
On St Andrew's Day, let's celebrate one of Scotland's finest. We may never find out how he keeps his prices so low.
21.
I'd like to seem the SNP form a coalition with CRCKLE and PP.
22.
Supporting scotland is the best way to learn that nothing good will ever happen and you will always fail.
23.
Gordon Strachan to be named Scotland Manager within the next 48 hours. Absolutely ridiculous. What's wrong with the name Gordon?
24.
Never leave your child unattended in the Scottish Highlands. Be responsible.
25.
For an independent Scotland just put an x in the box. Then you can cut it out and use it as a little flag.
26.
England and Scotland are so Ross and Rachel. And Wales is Phoebe.
27.
"I watched Trainspotting last night with that Scottish fella in it" "Ewan McGregor?" "No, just me".
28.
"Ye on all night mate?"
29.
[See's a guy playing bagpipes] Son: Why's that man wearing a skirt? Me: I think the real question is why is he sucking that musical octopus?
30.
The Scottish independence result is like when you're too scared to leave your boyfriend but when you stay, he makes you help him bomb Iraq.
31.
Dundee: It'll be lovely when it's finished.