Comedian Claire Ayoub has done us all a great service in her new YouTube show, A Series of Comebacks.
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She knows that most of the time, when someone says something sexist, mean, or downright awful, you don't think of the perfect comeback until "three days later, while boarding a plane to Antarctica."
So, what should you say if someone says you look "tired" – you know, in that way?
Just say: "It's exhausting being a badass bitch."
What if someone asks you if you're really going to eat all that ice cream?
Just say: "You have no idea how many calories I burn putting up with your shit!"
What if someone asks you that dreaded question of why you haven't had children yet?
Claire says you should chuckle, have them lean in close, and say, "THE WORLD ISN'T READY FOR MY SPAWN."
And what if someone calls you a fatass in the street?
"Just dangle him, dick first, over a tank of piranhas."
Thanks, Claire. We'll get right on that.