They’re totally going to reply. I mean, why wouldn’t they? They’ll reply, I’ll reply - it’ll be great. There is absolutely no possibility of me spiraling into a pit of sorrow and self-doubt today.
Any second now. The more you watch it, the more it’s likely to ding. Oh come on tri-tone, baby. Please don’t play this game with me.
They’ve lost it. Their phone, that is - not their mind. No, their mind is perfect. So is their hair. Man, they’ve got good hair. I hope they find their phone soon.
WHY WOULD I DO THIS? What was I possibly thinking?! I mean, you can’t even delete texts any more, you idiot. EVERYTHING IS FOREVER. I hate myself more than I have ever hated anything or anyone. I wouldn’t reply to me either.
Is this actually happening? Are they ACTUALLY just not writing back now? No. It can’t be the case.
Look, buddy. Ja Rule mightn’t have always been there when you called, but he was always on time - and this just ain’t good enough. I don’t need this.
7. Full-blown Rage
That was a FUNNY TEXT. It was. Sure, I didn’t ask a direct question, but a response was implied – see, right there – just after my hilarious quick-witted banter. I hate them.
8. The Final Straw
If they don’t write back in the next half-a-two-hours… They’re dead to me. (Unless they’ve got a really, REALLY good excuse.)
It’s been a day. Or two. You’ve stopped checking your phone and have accepted that they clearly hate your guts. Or, that they really did lose their phone. You’ll never know.
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