68 Thoughts You Have When Shopping In Priceline

    "I either have a full bottle of nail polish remover at home. Or none at all."

    1. OK I know I needed something in Priceline.

    2. I can't remember what, but I'm sure I'll know when I see it.

    3. I might as well check out the fragrances though.

    4. I mean, it's not like I'm in a massive rush.

    5. Oh, and you can test ALL of them.

    6. I guess literally every celebrity has a fragrance now.

    7. Yep.

    8. Literally every single one.

    9. And they all kind of smell the same?

    10. They all actually smell like that Britney Spears one I used to be obsessed with.

    11. Where is that?

    12. God, how many perfumes does Britney have now?

    13. I bet this shelf in Priceline is her greatest source of income right now.

    14. Good for her tho.

    15. These perfume sets are so cheap.

    16. I wish I knew a whole bunch of pre-teens - that would make my Christmas shopping so much easier.

    17. OK I have a headache now.

    18. I should move on from this section.

    19. Bye, weird-Nicki-Minaj-shaped-perfume-bottle.

    20. I should actually look at the mascaras while I'm in here.

    21. I think mine is drying out.

    22. I should try a new one.

    23. But do I want lengthening or thickening?

    24. Why can't I have both?

    25. What's the difference between ~pump up~ volume and ~volume express~?

    26. This is too hard.

    27. I'll get one next time I come in.

    28. I do need nail polish remover though.

    29. Or do I?

    30. I either have a full bottle at home or one that's completely empty.

    31. When am I going to start paying attention to my own life?

    32. Either way I definitely need cotton balls.

    33. But they only come in these massive packs.

    34. What if I don't actually need them and then I have to store this huge bag for six months while I wait to get through the old ones.

    35. My apartment is not big enough for that.

    36. Why did I even come in here again?

    37. I swear there was something I needed.

    38. Ugh I always do this.

    39. It is so bright in here.

    40. I should get some face wipes - you can never have enough of those.

    41. And tampons.

    42. I mean, while I'm here.

    43. It's not like I'm not going to use them.

    44. LOLOLOLOL.

    45. I also need dry shampoo.

    46. Honestly, why is this stuff so expensive?

    47. It's literally just air and powder.

    48. And why am I being punished for having dark hair?

    49. Is everyone with dark hair a millionaire now?

    50. I need actual shampoo too.

    51. Oh no wait - I just need conditioner.

    52. Why does that always happen to me?

    53. Note to self: Use less conditioner.

    54. Is that Papaw on sale?

    55. Or is it just in a pile like that because they know everyone always needs an extra one.

    56. I should get one just to keep in my handbag.

    57. Smart.

    58. OK the vitamin section.

    59. What was I reading is good for your skin?

    60. Or was that good for digestion?

    61. I guess you can't have skin OR a digestive system that's too good, can you?

    62. But why are vitamins so expensive?

    63. I guess I should just eat better.

    64. How long have I been in here?

    65. Forever I think.

    66. I still can't remember what I needed to get.

    67. Think, self. THINK.

    68. Goddamnit I'll just come in again tomorrow.

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