Sugar Gliders Are Not Awesome

After seeing this and this [NSFW] (the shapes, the shapes haunt me), I had to wash my brain, and nothing is cuter than a sugar glider right? Wrong.

• They lull you with their cuteness

  This Albino is a master of the craft.

• Then they fly at you

  Seriously, they fly at you!!!

• What if this was your face

• Off of doors

• Out of closets

• They do this unexpectedly

• And sit on your head

• They listen to Radiohead

  Which means they are either pretentious or have better taste than you, bad news either way.

• They bite

• But they bite goths, too

• They Make this Noise

  That noise says "I hate you" in every available frequency.

• They Crawl All over your Body

  And your Siblings won't save you either.

• And there is a litnany of other reasons to not own a sugar glider

  These are legitimate reasons not like those other ones.