1.
i enjoying mysekf by the lake, but then i remembered instances of regret in my life, and pain i have caused others
2.
The first caterpillar to turn into a butterfly must of been like YOOOOOOOOO
3.
*drives bread truck into the pond* Goodbye, cruel world *ducks pull me up to surface* ALL HAIL THE NEW KING *lives happily ever after*
4.
I wonder if tadpoles are all ARRGH WHAT ARE THESE THINGS GROWING OUT OF MY BUTT oh sweet I can jump now I CAN'T BREATHE oh I breathe air now
5.
oh yeah this is why life is beautiful
6.
*snail finally gets home from work* *turns right back around in order to be on time for the next day*
7.
I put my dog in a bag and she won't get out
8.
weird that some people have "no regrets" b/c once I accidentally scared a dog and never stopped thinking about it for the rest of my life
9.
Imagine if a dog had relatives who visited on their own accord. Like what if your dog's uncle just showed up at the door
10.
found out last night our cat goes to the kebab shop down the road every day & they give him lamb mince. there's a picture of him on the wall
11.
Now is a good time to remind y'all that my 7 y/o brother was pissed when he realized there are police dogs but not cats
12.
Girl on this train has been makin eyes at me the whole ride
13.
why go to the zoo when you can just go to lowes and look at all the birds trapped in the ceiling
14.
“Um.” - 1st horse that got ridden
15.
Barista: I have a latte for *3 second long screeching noise* Velociraptor: Actually it's *4 second long screeching noise* but close enough
16.
17.
I was like what the fuck is this dog barking at until I saw he was wearing a bluetooth
18.
tonight we ride
19.
Getting tired of people talking about how strong ants are. I can pick up a leaf too, who gives a shit
20.
I bet the first guy who saw a pig was like, "what the fuck is that dog's problem?"
21.
When God made raccoons he was like do you want to be an old timey burglar or a trash digger. Too slow. You're both now.
22.
The fact that earthworms are called earthworms suggests the existrnce of sea worms and, more distressingly, air and fire worms.
23.
Dogs were like "this is how long we think a year is." And we said "that's wrong, but you tried your best so we'll humor you."
24.
face down, ass up / that's how you fish if you a duck
25.
take me here. wherever this is is where i want to be