Buzz·Posted on Sep 29, 201525 Hilarious Tweets That Perfectly Capture Your Feelings About Animals"Animals should be rewarded for not being people. I hate people." —April Ludgateby Grace SpelmanBuzzFeed StaffLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail 1. Jackie Carbajal @jackiecarbajal *walks past German Shepherd and nods* Officer... 09:09 PM - 30 Dec 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. Megan Neuringer @MeganNeuringer birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. let's do it, let's poop mid-air. 11:25 PM - 16 May 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. hot car gatorade @wutangcher is it true that you've been a very good boy 06:07 PM - 06 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. priscilla page @BBW_BFF did i ever tell you guys about the time we asked our HS teacher what he'd name a racehorse, & he said, w/out hesitation, "santa's boyfriend" 12:33 AM - 02 Feb 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. Karen Kilgariff @KarenKilgariff FAKE BREEDS I'VE TOLD PEOPLE MY DOG IS AT THE DOG PARK: Venetian Dabney, Brown Feta, Waxbeard, Oxnard Pike, Blue Hustler, High Presbyterian 05:20 PM - 24 Jul 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. Lexie Mountain @mountainlex frogs googling "bugs how to find lots of bugs at night time delicious " 05:43 AM - 15 Jun 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. ☠ lil helly ☠ @hell_doe "my house sure is quiet. i wish something was here yelling at me 100% of the time" -someone right before they get a bird 11:16 PM - 01 May 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. Pepper Doctor @IRLPepperMD *parents come into my room* "We need to talk to you… We think you're an owl." *turns neck all the way around to face them* "Who- I MEAN WHY" 02:29 AM - 13 Mar 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. daisy chain @plantandmineral today a 6 yr old girl asked me if butterflies are flowers that escaped & i was like yo what is yr twitter handle 11:09 PM - 18 Jun 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. ghost mom @radtoria [sees fly] Hmm... I think I'll name this creature "Fly." [sees bird] GODDAMMIT 07:32 AM - 21 Jan 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. tara shoe @tarashoe some cats are like "i hate this dumb name you gave me." but i like the ones that are clearly saying "FOOLS! COWER BEFORE THE IRE OF WAFFLES" 08:48 PM - 16 Nov 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. audrey farnsworth @audipenny Do storks carry anything else or are they just like obsessed with babies 07:28 AM - 17 Feb 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. Li'l Edie Pentland @JennyPentland I wonder if caterpillars know they're gonna fly some day or they just start building a cocoon and are like 'why am I doing this'. 08:23 AM - 12 Jun 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. Paige @PeachCoffin The fact that we know chameleons exist means they are worthless idiot failures 04:03 PM - 19 Sep 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. Marin Hubka @marinhubka Duck internet search history: Bread Bread pudding? what is "breadwinner" how to become breadwinner where to win bread Duck boobs Free bread 06:00 PM - 30 Jul 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. Allegra Ringo @allegraringo I like that the Reading Rainbow theme song starts off by aggressively one-upping butterflies 06:11 PM - 09 Jun 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. hannah @TribalSpaceCat "Um wow okay" -all of Santa's other reindeer 03:37 AM - 14 Dec 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. someofmyblurst @someofmybest i don't mean to body-shame, but this cat looks stupid as hell 02:00 PM - 29 Dec 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. sophie @Scphietab My mum was too embarrassed to tell the vet our tortoise was called voldetort so she just said his name was Susan 05:59 PM - 12 Mar 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. kiersten @kierstennamber what did we do to deserve dogs 02:10 AM - 10 Sep 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. Meredith Gran @granulac *sees a dog* *slowly turns head wide-eyed to life's 4th wall* A DOG 03:22 AM - 03 Dec 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 22. Jessie @NicCageMatch DOGS: ★★★★★ So cute, many colors & sizes, happy butts, cold noses, some know where the ball is, breath could be better. A++ WOULD PET AGAIN 03:57 AM - 08 Dec 2013 Reply Retweet Favorite 23. julia davidovich @juliadavidovich that time my father pronounced 'hors d'oeuvres' as 'horse divorce' in front of other humans 06:55 PM - 23 Nov 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 24. Frankie @phranqueigh How dare you call me mentally unstable, on this, the day of my cat's quinceanera. 05:15 PM - 28 May 2015 Reply Retweet Favorite 25. Kelly Schureman @KelgoreTrout *takes picture of cat* *shows cat the picture* 08:42 PM - 05 May 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite