16 Things To Say To A Designer To Crush Their Spirit

I love my job. I love my job. I love my job.

1. “I’m not a designer, but…”

If you’re not a designer then maybe you should trust my expertise.

2. “Make the logo bigger.”

No. No I will not.

3. “The type is too small.”

Oh really? Is it? Did you know that average magazine size font is 8.25 and we’re using size 14? Suck. It.

4. “Your camera takes great pictures.”

Thanks! It definitely has nothing to do with the creative eye behind the camera.

5. “I love it! This is great! But…”

And here are 10,000 edits.

6. “We ended up going in a different direction.”

Thanks for your time, but after countless hours of hard work we’re going to design it in Microsoft Word.

7. “Well you’re the designer here…”

THEN WHY WON’T YOU LISTEN TO MY PROFESSIONAL ADVICE?!

8. “You have total creative freedom”

Translation: I have no idea what I want and will figure it out once I see it. Probably. Maybe.

9. “We don’t have much of a budget.”

Code for “you’re going to work just as hard and we’ll pay you nothing.”

10. “I don’t know what I need exactly, but I want a quote.”

$2 to $2 bazillion. GIVE ME DETAILS.

11. “We’ll keep our revisions to a minimum.”

Hahahahaha

12. “Can you make the photo hi-res?”

Oy.

13. “I really like that Papyrus/Zapfino/Curlz font.”

Why don’t you just stab me with a rusty butter knife?

14. “This won’t take you long.”

Here’s a thought – why don’t I just let you know how long I think it’ll take.

15. “There’s not enough stuff in the design.”

Please ignore the fact that white space, leading and good margins lead to better looking design. Let’s try and cram as much stuff as possible in it!

16. “Can you jazz it up a bit?”

Can you use other clichéd phrases that don’t actually mean anything?

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