Graduate School As Told By The Wizarding World Of "Harry Potter"

Grad school is the reason mandrakes cry. SIRIUSLY.

Waiting...

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So you've submitted your application, become a complete nuisance to the graduate departments at various schools, and now all you are told to do is "wait."

Receiving the Acceptance Letter

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After weeks spent writing your statement of purpose, gathering letters of recommendation, and stressing the EFF out, you finally receive an acceptance letter. In a sea of junk mail, overdue bill notices, and perhaps rejections - you know this is the one. And you couldn't be more excited.

"Hey, Everyone! I'm officially going to grad school!"

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"But, don't you have a degree already?"

"Is that really necessary for the field you're in?"

"You do realize how much work you're going to have to do, right?"

YES. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I AM GETTING MYSELF INTO. MAYBE....

Day 1: "This is not a continuation of undergrad"

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They're right. It's much harder. Be prepared to sacrifice food, sleep, social activities and your sanity.

Class Introductions

As juvenile as it sounds, you're going to be forced to play stupid name games on your first day during orientation. You're going to have to come up with some ridiculous "interesting fact" about yourself. It's going to be miserable, and bring back cringe-worthy memories of middle school and summer camp.

Making Friends

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In undergrad, you became close with most of your classmates as you advanced through the curriculum. Now you've got a whole new friend group to deal with, and they DIDN'T EVEN GO HERE. Okay, well maybe some of them did, and they know the ropes. Do you stick with them, or side with the out-of-towners? There is no sorting hat, so it's up to you.

Turns out, everyone is a Hermione

These people actually WANTED more school. That includes you.

"Did everyone do the week's reading?"

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In undergrad, you could totally get away with not doing any of the assigned reading, or perhaps not even purchasing the textbook. Now you're expected to partake in intellectual discussions and reference a part of the text, and also submit a summary, response, and presentation. What gives, professors?

Partnering up on Class Assignments

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There is an odd number of students in your class, and the professor assigns partners, leaving you to partner up with the professor. You're in grad school now, therefore you're mature enough to collaborate with your professor. Insert #awkwardmoments here.

Maintaining A High Tolerance for Alcohol

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Think again, graduate student! Your version of happy hour will soon become the collective 60 minutes of the day when you going to and from class, and maybe eating - if you have time for that. Your alcohol tolerance will match that of your very first party in high school, but luckily that means you'll be able to get intoxicated much quicker.

The real hunger games

E-mail from department head:

"This Thursday evening, our department is delighted to welcome a seminar on industry....blah FREE FOOD." Ordinarily you'd never attend this event, but the free food and beverages were persuasive enough.

COUNT ME IN!

Must. Get. Out. Now.

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Bouncing around from coffee shop, to library, to basically anywhere with free wi-fi, you find yourself questioning your entire decision to go to grad school in the first place.

Weekends

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NOPE. You were hoping that with absence of class you wouldn't have to do work 24/7, but you do.

Graduating with Honors?

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Oh, there's an award for the most outstanding student in the program? That's going to look great on my résumé.

IT'S ON.

(5 minutes later)

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You soon realize that an attempt to earn the recognition or that scholarship means more work on your part. Nope. Nope. Nope.

"Employers are looking for people with experience, not more school."

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Excuse me, whatttttt? You should not have told me that, kind sir. Please don't tell me after months of slaving over my master's thesis that it's essentially "non-essential." I can still get hired, right?

"OMG we have to stay in touch after graduation!!"

Depending on how big your program is, obviously. Either way, you'll have a group of friends that suffered through the same bullshit as you, so I guess that's a pretty tight bond. Or maybe they're a bunch of weirdos you can't wait to ditch.

Graduation

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After months (sometimes years) of tireless work, you've finally turned in your master's thesis, final project, etc. You're now a free elf!

Moments After Graduation

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You reveled in the fact that all of your friends were forced to enter the real world before you, while you delayed the process by earning your prestigious degree in whatever. Moments after crossing the stage and clutching that diploma, you realize that you, too, will be in the real world.