1. How to write in cursive
2. How to drop an egg from a five-story building without breaking it
6. How to find a book using the card catalogue system
24. How to care for a fake infant egg
Real children are slightly more complex.
27. How to color in the lines
DAMMIT, MAX. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.
31. How to find arrowheads
35. How to differentiate between different types of dinosaurs
36. How to cite a source using MLA
UPDATED: Apparently our previous picture was not in MLA. English teachers everywhere collectively cringed.
37. How to build a styrofoam solar system
Pluto’s not even a planet anymore. WHY EVEN BOTHER?!
43. How to jump out of the back of a bus
Let’s face it: If your bus is on fire, you get the fuck out however you can.
45. How to sell worthless coupon books
46. How to scratch and sniff
Have you ever tried scratching and sniffing someone in real life? Yeah, they don’t like when you do that.
47. How to care for your Pokemon cards
Dude, your prized holographic Charizard card is worth like 15 cents.