J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek is a piece of shit. I don’t buy the whole “alternate reality” crap. I think he was just desperately trying to recreate something great and anal-screwed all the continuity out of it. Once everybody asked “what the heck was that?”, he says “…oh yeah…umm…it was an…al..ter..nate……..timeline! Yeah! That’s it!”. Sad. Thanks for ruining The Star Trek that I grew up with and love J.J. Thanks for having an angry, I want to dick-meld with Uhura Spock who’s the same age as Kirk. Thanks for making Scotty into a junk collector who’s also the same age as kirk who never went to Starfleet academy. Thanks for making Sulu Korean. Thanks for making Kirk into an asshole who has a giant, light-bulb shaped head. What the hell was up with Chekov? Oddly, I actually thought McCoy was believeable. My childhood has been raped by your vision of Star Trek J.J. If Gene Roddenberry were alive, he’d have another heart attack. I’m glad his remains are in orbit so they can be as far away from your piece of crap excuse for Star Trek as they can be.

For this to work, you would have to agree with the chart maker about what is: funny, kickass, retarded, what sucks, etc. Not very useful for your average trekkie who loves them all.