1. The well-meaning daughter who was asked to write a sentence about her mom’s hobbies.
3. The daughter who is not afraid to resort to smear tactics to win a family election.
4. The future criminal mastermind who fooled her parents with a forged note from her kindergarten teacher.
5. Along with her brother-in-arms who brought this note home from the teacher.
6. The young girl who’s getting a head start on using half-assed internet research to do her homework.
7. And their compatriot, the creative genius who wrote this sick note.
10. And the 6-year-old who’s still perfecting the art.
Mom (sigh) I really love you but why do you ruin each day of my life. I’ll be on the front porch if you want to talk with me.