Ask A Dumb Cat: How To Get Your College Crush To Notice You

Plus, how to make friends at parties!

Dear Dumb Cat,

I’ve been in college for a few years now, and I still have a hard time making friends. I go to parties sometimes, but I feel like I just end up standing around in a corner trying not to make eye contact with anyone. I WANT to meet people, I just have such a hard time breaking the ice. I can hold a conversation once people approach me, but there must be something about the way I act in social situations that makes me seem unapproachable. I promise I’m not! How can I put myself out there so that I can meet new people?

Shy in Seattle

Dear Shy,

This is a perfectly reasonable worry to have, and you’d be surprised how many people feel exactly the same way. Next time you’re at a party, try not to put too much pressure on yourself. It may be hard to remember at first, but you are there to have fun, not to beat yourself up about your insecurities!

Keeping a positive mindset is important, but it can also be very helpful to have a strategy going into the event. Next time you’re at a party where you don’t know that many people, spend the first hour of the party somewhere you feel comfortable and safe, such as under a bed or in a closet where no one can see you. Then, spend the rest of the hours of the party there. Eventually everyone will leave and you can eat food off the floor.

Yours,

A Dumb Cat

Dear Dumb Cat,

So there’s this guy in one of my classes, and I have the world’s biggest crush on him. I catch myself staring at him for a good portion of the class period. How do I get him to notice me?

Clueless in Clovis

Dear Clueless,

The one thing I always tell people in this situation is that, whether you believe it or not, you almost certainly already have your crush’s attention. What you really need to do is to prove that fact to yourself - and that’s the easy part!

Next time your crush takes a bathroom break, follow him to the facilities, and scratch on the door until he lets you in. Once you’re inside, butt your head into his hand until he turns on the faucet. That way, you can sit on the sink and drink out of the faucet while he relieves himself.

Yours,

A Dumb Cat

BuzzFeed Animals’ Ask A Dumb Cat™ is an unbelievably inane weekly advice column from a dumb cat who doesn’t even know how to do anything except sleep and eat and generally be a pain in the ass and not even sit on your lap when you want him to. Would you like said advice? Email your questions to [e-mail].