2. And then just leave the bag in for way too long, as if the length of time the bag is in the cup has nothing to do with anything.
3. Fail to fill up their pint all the way as if this is not an assault on all that is good and sacred in the world.
4. Neglect to buy your round. Actually, why not just go ahead and fail to understand the concept of a round entirely?
5. Actually take the last biscuit when they ask you if you want it.
6. Willfully fail to understand the difference between a football and a handegg.
7. Fake a British accent at length and expect them to find it amusing.
10. Talk about Sherlock Holmes as if he’s a historical figure.
In The News Today
- Rowan County, Kentucky, issued several marriage licenses today, but their validity is being questioned because jailed clerk Kim Davis's name isn't on them. ›
- After mounting pressure from other European countries, Britain will accept thousands more refugees from UN camps bordering Syria. ›
- U.S. Vice President Joe Biden said he isn't sure he has the "emotional energy" to run for president. ›