1. When Perez fights … he takes on the whole world.

Perez Hilton is the king of Twitter fights. Perez-The-Twitterer is to the no-holds-barred war of words as Perez-The-Blogger is to being totally insufferable. Awesome at it. He has taken on will.i.am, Lily Allen, Mark Ronson, and (as of this week) Demi Moore. This latest came about when Demi posted some pics of her daughter that Perez didn’t approve of, but put on his blog anyway.

2. When Miley fights … she does it with a pouty-face.

This is a recent exchange between Miley Cyrus and then-boyfriend Justin Gaston. It makes me sad, or something. :(

3. When Tila Tequila fights … she fights sober.

Tila Tequila has accused Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman of choking her. Shawne claims that she was drunk. Here are Tila’s tweets (since deleted) from the cache. Shawne just wants you to cheer him up.

4. When aging rock stars fight … they get right to the point.

Trent Reznor, on the release of Soundgarden/Audioslave frontman Chris Cornell’s Timbaland-produced solo album; and Chris’s wounded response.

5. When politicians fight … it is so fucking lame.

Arlen Spector vs. Chuck Grassley, re: the whole “Death Panels” thing. “Take back your tweet, sir!” “No, sir, you take back your tweet!” Kill me.

6. When social media professionals fight … they live to regret it.

Technology reporter David George-Cosh got really angry when April Dunford, a marketing professional, didn’t call him back for an interview. April Dunford came out of it looking way better.

7. When the literati fight … they use big words.

When New Yorker staffer Dan Baum was let go, he chronicled the entire story of his love affair/eventual disillusionment with the magazine in 140 character bursts. It took a long time to get out, but it was kind of awesome. His colleague, Susan Orlean, took exception.

8. When Ashton fights … he fights to win.

Sorry, Larry. :(

So, what are we to make of all of this?

I don’t know, but I think Kanye put it best when he said: