1. This kitten who is undergoing an existential crisis.
“Cats are condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, they are responsible for everything they do.”
2. This flat-faced cat who finally got around to watching the last episode of “Six Feet Under.”
“You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.”
3. This kitten who just realized that the road we travel is a solitary one and that whatever lights might guide our way we are nonetheless traveling into the dark.
“O dark dark dark. They all go into the dark,
The vacant interstellar spaces, the vacant into the vacant.”
4. These kittens who just saw the trailer for the new “Total Recall” remake.
“Gott ist tot.”
5. This flat-faced cat who had a really disappointing burrito from Chipotle.
“Seeking what is true is not seeking what is desirable.”
6. This kitten who just woke up and re-remembered that each morning means grappling anew with the soul-shattering realization that one day must of necessity follow upon another.
“Forever I shall be a stranger to myself. In psychology as in logic, there are truths but no truth.”
7. This cat, who stayed home today specifically to wait for the cable guy, who OF COURSE didn’t show up and didn’t even bother to call.
“Nothing thicker than a knife’s blade separates happiness from melancholy.”
8. This cat who is realizing that dogs are just unbelievably annoying.
“The truth is that everyone is bored, and devotes himself to cultivating habits.”
10. This cat whose book club just announced that they’re reading “Eat, Pray, Love.”
“The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.”
11. This kitten who just reached the mirror stage and experienced the terror of realization that comes with seeing oneself as a distinct entity.
“For the signifier is a unit in its very uniqueness, being by nature symbol only of an absence.”
- California Republican Kevin McCarthy has dropped out of the race to be the next speaker of the U.S. House. ›
- The United Nations has proposed a national unity government for Libya after peace talks between the north African country's two rival factions. ›
- Walter Scott's family has reached a $6.5 million settlement with North Charleston, S.C., where the unarmed black man was fatally shot by an officer in April. ›