1. Just in case you thought it all was a bad dream… It wasn’t. The mid-season finale we saw last night was real. Real bad.
2. OK, so, COMPLETELY NEW PLOT TWIST*: The Governor wants to take the prison. (!!!)
*Just kidding, because this plot twist happened last season. And for some unfathomable reason, it’s happening again.
In fact, a lot of this episode was repetitive. And a lot of Season 4 has been too. It’s all been going in circles around the prison, with the occasional zombie and/or Governor attack thrown in.
3. Then there was a super important plot point about making a mud pie with this kid.
The kid, to be clear, is his girlfriend’s child who he now likes to pretend is a replacement for the daughter he lost. My questions: Isn’t this kid a little old to be playing in the mud? And why is she so very terrible at it?
4. Tyreese, still trying to figure out who killed his woman, brought Daryl and Rick to see this dead bunny corpse.
And then there was no discussion about it after, because LOL continuity no longer matters in the zombie apocalypse.
5. Then The Governor really rolls up on the prison, and reveals that he has Herschel and Michonne as hostages.
Hmmm… The Governor has kidnapped someone from the prison for leverage… Why does that sound so very familiar? Oh, right…
6. And this is Rick’s totally logical response to their impending demise:
7. And he repeats it, for good measure:
He repeats the fact that he’s a lover, not a fighter, many times in this episode. And this Season.
8. The Governor gives zero fucks, basically, and is like “LOL, we outnumber you, EVEN THOUGH I’VE ONLY HAD TWO MONTHS TO MAKE MY ARMY.”
9. And if this scenario at all looks familiar…
10. That’s because, again, it already happened in Season 3.
Remember the first time that The Governor wanted to take over the prison, and how he brought his camp with him? Yes, it’s happening again.
And how come Rick NEVER gets a new shirt, but Patchy The Gov has all these cool leather options?
11. Rick, all out of “I’m not in charge no mo!” cards, eye-fucks the camera for a while, basically.
13. This kid’s mud pie fun came back to bite her in the back, literally.
RIP kid we didn’t really care about at all.
14. This dude, whose brother was killed by The Governor, is fiercely loyal to him, for no reason.
15. Rick gave one last attempt to keep the peace, because he doesn’t like to shoot people anymore, and Gov. Patchy was not having it.
16. So, because Rick was a “liar,” Gov. Patchy took the next logical step and chopped off Hershel’s head.
17. Oh, and did I mention he was killed in front of his family while they stood screaming?
18. Someone getting beheaded finally snapped Rick out of his peace-loving haze, and he fired some shots.
19. Then Rick and The Governor decide to fist fight, even though there’s weapons all around them, because YOLO.
20. But Gov. Patchy is eventually killed, and makes this hilarious face.
21. Rick finds Carl by screaming out “CARL” until he shows up, and there is some ugly cry face happening.
22. Especially when they remember that Judith is a thing, and she is now dead.
RIP Judith. Or maybe you’re not actually dead, since none of it’s shown… Who knows, and who cares, really!
Oh, and if you don’t remember who Judith is, you’re not alone. She was that baby that Lori had and then everyone proceeded to mostly ignore.
23. Oh, and Rick drags Carl off into the woods and away from the group… He’s named Dad of The Year.
So, Carl and Rick on the run. All of their friends heading into the sunset on a bus… Where the hell can The Walking Dead go from here?