1. If your roomie hates laundry, add a dash of Robert Downey Jr. to their load.
2. When you need your roommate to clean up their shit, make it entertaining.
3. Be supportive when your roomie has something major to deal with.
Referencing Bill O’Reilly helps.
4. If you have loud sex, make sure to share the love.
DONUT LOVE. Jesus.
5. Don’t leave your roommate hanging, and change the fucking TP roll before it runs out.
6. If you drink all of the pirate punch and barf it up, apologize with cupcakes.
7. If you unintentionally eat their food, the apology is best served in cartoon form.
9. Instead of getting mad because the electricity bill is so high, make turning off the lights a sexier option.
11. If Cage isn’t your style, then Gollum-up your roomie’s bathroom experience.
They’ll be terrified at first, but thank you later.
19. If you ruin their clothes, draw them a picture of an octopus playing the drums.
22. Give your roomie a heads up on what kind of mood you’re in with a custom door hanger.
- Dylann Roof has been formally charged with nine counts of murder for the Charleston church shooting last month.
- Britain marks 10 years since 52 people were killed in terrorist attacks in London.
- Harry Shearer, the voice of Mr. Burns on "The Simpsons," will rejoin the show. In May, he said he was leaving.