1. The Governor is still a total a-hole.
2. And he beat the tar out of poor Milton for disobeying him.
Guess a Governor’s gotta do, what a Gov’s gotta do…
3. Oh, and he also beat Andrea and tied her to a chair.
4. He then locked them both in a room and said this epic thing that basically sums up life in the zombie apocalypse.
Real nice, Governor Patchy. (Can I call you Gov. Patchy?)
5. Meanwhile, Carl is feeling nostalgic for his old life, and spends a lot of time staring at this old photo.
So artsy, this shot.
6. And he’s also turned into a full-blown angry tween.
8. Gov. Patchy decides to raise an army and attack the prison, because leaving the safety of your secure walls is always a great idea.
And he wants to get revenge on the prison folks for ruining his death arena, or whatever.
9. Tyreese and Sasha decide to sit this massacre out, and stay behind to protect the elderly and children.
Gov. Patchy doesn’t like that one bit…
10. And did I mention that Gov. Patchy also stabbed Milton, and he spends the episode slowly turning into a zombie while Andrea scrambles to try and get these pliers?
11. Gov. Patchy and his band of goons break into the prison.
12. But they’re quickly scared off after being completely blindsided by the badass scare tactics of the prison folks.
13. This kid escapes, until Carl kills him for no apparent reason.
Poor Hershel. It’s like Santa just found out there is no such thing as Santa. (SPOILER ALERT)
14. Hershel basically tells Rick to get over ghost Lori and grow a pair, Dad-wise.
15. And Carl is basically just like, “I give zero fucks, to be honest.”
16. Meanwhile, Gov. Patchy is pissed about being scared off and puts on some serious bitchface.
Can we all take a moment to LOL at this face?
17. Then decides to pretty much kill EVERYONE, because that’s a totally rational response.
18. Except this chick, who hid UNDER A BODY and then nearly scared poor Daryl to death.
19. Speaking of Daryl, he’s still a stone cold fox, so at least there’s that silver lining.
20. On the other side of the zombie world, Andrea uses her feet to escape… LOL.
21. But it’s a little too late, because Milton already turned and dramatically lunges for Andrea.
22. The jig is totally up for Gov. Patchy when Karen tells Tyreese and Sasha what went down.
23. And by the time the prison folks reach Andrea, she’s already been bitten and she’s ready to kill herself.
24. But not before Michonne confesses her undying love, basically.
25. Oh, and Andrea totally killed Zombie Milton, obvi.
RIP Zombie Milton.
26. The prison folks decide to take in a BUS LOAD of people from Woodbury.
Mostly the sick, elderly, and women with children. They should be a lot of help…
27. Rick returns to the prison, and goes to search for Ghost Lori only to find that she’s vanished…
28. Oh, and the world is still filled with horrifying zombies who are trying to enjoy a nice sunny afternoon stroll.
Can’t wait for the premiere this Sunday!