1. Every time you get a new wedding invite, this is your reaction:
2. Your Facebook timeline looks like this:
3. You’re shitfaced every weekend, because Saturday means an open bar at a wedding.
4. When you’re not asked to be in the wedding party, this is your reaction:
6. When your friend says they’ve found “the one,” this is how you feel.
7. You have a collection of these chalky candies you’ll never, ever eat.
8. You don’t remember what a weekend, or vacation is, because all of that time goes to weddings.
9. Your friends talk about something they did with their “couple friends.”
10. Your friends have started getting aggressively sappy when it comes to love.
12. And before your friend can get drinks, they have to ask permission first.
13. Your friend suggests a fun night of scrolling through Pinterest wedding boards.
14. You’ve never heard the phrase “clock is ticking” so many times in your damn life.
16. Any time you have extra money, you remember that you need to spend it on someone else …
19. You’ve had someone cancel plans because they’re “in planning mode.”
21. You can count the number of friends who aren’t married on one tiny hand.
22. You have a strong dislike for wedding singers in general.
Because they just won’t shut up.