1.
Condoms that not only protect, but come with great pickup lines to make you feel très chic.
2.
The sterling silver condom necklace that's perfect to wear on a first date.
3.
The multicolored silk yarn condom sweater for your penis, or whatever.
4.
The fancy pack of condoms that are Jack Donaghy approved.
5.
The super cute dinosaur that is also, apparently, a condom.
6.
The heel condom shoe accessory.
7.
The Romney condom, because even though he didn't win the election he won this fine packaging.
8.
The pack of condoms from the 1930s that you should definitely never, ever use.
9.
The Christmas felt condom pouch that's perfect for breaking the news that Santa doesn't exist.
10.
Or you could splurge on the stocking that keeps on giving.
11.
The trucker hat that makes wearing a condom pretty cool.
12.
The hoodie that makes a great congratulatory gift for any new parent, or any old jerk.
13.
The Trojan pillow that helps you have safe sex dreams.
14.
The St. Patrick's day condom lollipops that will make you a hit at every pub.
15.
The necklace every lifeguard should never leave home without.
16.
The pins made from condoms that make a great accent to your clothes, purse, or a condom in use.
17.
The apron that will improve your skills in the kitchen sack.
18.
The shirt your dog will just love to wear to the park!
19.
The condoms perfect for "50 Fifty Shades Of Grey" fans.
20.
The phone cover that won't be embarrassing at all.
21.
The bizzarre 1980s CIA condom gag gift.
22.
The mousepad that makes a professional addition to all office decor.
23.
The earrings meant to symbolize safe sex, but that kind of look like two craters.
24.
The broken condom crocheted cap that will keep your head warm, but leak semen everywhere.
